A High School Student Speaks Out–I Love School, But It’s Killing Me
Today’s letter is from high school student, Sophia Warren, a 10th grader in Brooklyn, New York.
I Love School, But It’s Killing Me
by Sophia Warren
Dear Sara,
My name’s Sophia Warren (we’ve met before a few times now). I’m a sophomore currently at Packer in Brooklyn Heights, NY. Packer is a school that prides itself on the gifted children that attend it and the rigorous academics that they offer. For years I have spent hours on homework. Beginning in the second grade, I sat through standarized tests, I worked on handwriting, and filled out math work book after math work book.
When I was in the fourth grade, each student was assigned an “independent study project.” Most kids were told that they would be working on spelling, logic problems, etc. I was told that I would be writing a novel, working at least a half an hour on it every night plus completing my other homework. At first I was in love with the idea, happy to be exempt from spelling, but it soon took a turn and I found myself miserable and with writer’s block. I was just nine years old and I came home everyday, sat down, stared at my paper, and spent the next hour crying out of frustration. My mom had no idea what to do with me. She finally spoke to my teacher and said that although I had not been writing anything, I had in fact been thinking about the story. He said that my think was not work and that I would not be allowed to go outside the next day during recess and that I would have to work while everyone else had “free time” in the classroom. I spent four months of fourth grade sitting in the classroom at a desk and working while everyone else was permitted to have fun and run around. It did not seem fair to me and it still doesn’t. The finished product kept me up until almost five in the morning. The story was over 160 pages at completion.
I have always wanted to be a writer, but that assignment killed my love of writing for over a year. I figured that if it was that painful to write, I did not want to.
At the present, I spend over six hours on homework a night. It is only just
the beginning of the year and I have already realized that my social life will have to wait until the summer. Almost all of my friends are outside of my school and having six hours of homework a night gives me absolutely no time to see them whatsoever. I go out Saturday nights and work continuously all day on Sunday. I never get more than six hours of sleep a night. I have accepted already that this year I will have little fun, see my family rarely, never spend time with them, not see my friends as much as I would like, and not have nearly enough time to do the things I like. I love music. I’ve played the cello for years now and I’ve recently quit orchestra because I just didn’t have time for it. It was taking up free periods that I needed to complete assignments in. I also love to go the concerts, I love live music, I love booking shows, and I love being part of a community that revolves around excellent music. I find that internships I once had and loved now need to be discarded. I hate that things I enjoyed doing in the summer need to be shoved to the back of my closet until a year from now.
The saddest thing about all of this is that I truly love school. I really love it, but it’s killing me. I’m actually physically uncomfortable right now, my coloring is off, and I’ve already gotten the cold that I will have for the rest of the year. My immune system is already falling apart and I find myself drinking Emergen-C every morning just to keep me alive through the week.
Today I auditioned for the play. Rehearsals run for about four hours a day. I would get home at around seven-thirty every evening and then sit down to do all of my homework. Even the director doesn’t understand. She’s planned a tech rehearsal on Halloween! It’s a holiday! It’s a time to have fun! I put on my schedule that I cannot go to that and that I will not go to rehearsal on Fridays.
It’s healthy to have fun, is it not? It’s not fair that I don’t have time to read, draw, play the cello, see my friends, have dinner with my little brother, or go to the movies with my mom. I live in New York City. I want to submerge myself in its culture and learn from that and instead I spend everyday sitting in my room, slaving away.
A perfect example of the toll homework is taking on my life (and it’s only the second week of school!): Last night I sat down to do my French homework. French is one of my favorite subjects and I assumed the work would pass quickly. Turns out that I had to look up twenty-five vocabulary words, write sentences for each of them, and then write twelve sentences about the girl who sits next to me. I quickly realized that the work was going to take me a very long time. I begin to work and along comes my brother. He’s in the eighth grade, also at Packer. He’s also working on French homework. He’s struggling through his work as well and he keeps asking me questions. This is the saddest thing; we end up fighting! He gets upset because I tell him that I don’t have time to help him and to please stop talking to me and I get angry because he’s upset. I start to feel bad and five minutes later we’re both yelling at each other. My mom comes upstairs and we’re yelling and she starts yelling and my dad comes home from work and everyone’s upset. It puts him in a bad mood and the next thing you know, everyone is angry at one another all because of frustration about homework. I really wish this wasn’t the case.
I’m reading your book right now (there’s no telling how long it will take me though with this much work to do). I hope that I can just explain to my teachers. My teachers are always pretending that they’re conscious of the homework problems but they have the nerve to blame it on time management skills. They blame it on me! I am a fast worker and it takes me six hours. A boy told me just today that his history homework alone took him almost three hours last night.
I don’t want to hate school or learning, but everytime I say anything it is dismissed as irrational and an exaggeration. My teachers just don’t get it. I really wish they did because I find myself counting down the days until winter break already. I don’t have time to do anything I want to do. It makes me cringe to think about junior year and college pressure and the SATs. I have enough on my plate right now. My English teacher just gave us a list of TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY vocabulary words. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY. That’s insane. We’ll be tested on it at the end of the year to help us for the SATs. High school has been a horror so far. I hear it gets worse. It makes me not want to go to college, which is really sad. I wish my mom would homeschool me, but not all parents have time for that or are qualified to do that. I wish there was somewhere that let me do things I love. I think I am a smart person- not to boast or anything, but I really do think that I’m smart and hardworking. I’m a straight A student and I pride myself in that, but the kids who don’t do homework always talk about what they did after school.
My A is costing me my social life.
Thanks for voicing your opinion on homework. I wish there were more people ready to stand up for both children and parents.
If this isn’t a violation of some kind of child labor, or labor, laws, then we have to rewrite the laws. This sounds almost criminal to me. Sophia, my heart goes out to you. Do you think you would be able to give a copy of your letter to every teacher and manager of your school without retribution? It sounds like homework is seriously affecting your health.
I am a mother of a 7-yr-old who gets 45 minutes of homework a night. I am fighting for no homework (or seriously less homework) now to try to influence the system and assuage the amount he will get in middle or high school. Here’s hoping!
Harris Cooper’s studies showed that, after 2 1/2 hours of homework a night for High School students, returns diminished (ie scores got worse, not better). Maybe worth looking up that information up for your teachers (I’ll try to send you something).
I wish you loads of luck. Keep checking this web site. It is full of great information, ideas and inspiration.
In solidarity …
Diane
September 26th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
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Diane wrote:
If this isn’t a violation of some kind of child labor, or labor, laws, then we have to rewrite the laws. This sounds almost criminal to me. Sophia, my heart goes out to you. Do you think you would be able to give a copy of your letter to every teacher and manager of your school without retribution? It sounds like homework is seriously affecting your health.
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Diane, thank you. Because we are in the same boat. My daughter’s homework life mirrors this young woman’s. It is criminal. It is absolute child abuse.
If you staff, they deny that students are very seriously sleep deprived, many depressed and tell you your child just has to time manage better, see a coach or counselor and not be such a perfectionist.
LBJ
September 26th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
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This is a painful reminder of my sophomore year! I had the same experiences and I promise you Junior year IS better! You are going to have to make the choice between sacrificing your advanced classes or your peaceful well-being. That choice was hard for me because I love to learn and have to take all the AP and Honors classes available.
It took me awhile but I decided I would be happy with an A in regular classes or B in AP classes as long as I feel good mentally.
I am so glad you found an outlet by posting this blog and you need to be vocal in your school too! Teachers do not get settle hints let alone smacks on the face. If need be get your parents to have a meeting with the teachers or principle.
PLEASE check out my web site and email me if you want to talk about it. I would love to put this on my web site too if you don’t mind. It’s great that you found Sara Bennett. She has been working with me so well and will help you in anyway possible. It is people like you who I would LOVE to get involved with my web site. Stuntthestress.com
I promise there is a way to make things better!
September 27th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
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I agree with this
when i began reading, assigned reading hours and the such made an activity i have after a few years come to love seem like tourture
adults today, for the most part, complain that children do not exercise, play, etc.etc., yet i find that the real reason is that kids are too afraid to commit their time because of homework and projects which take up so much of their time
i used to go to an inter-city school, before my town built it’s own (though i sometimes find this true even now), that some teachers, especially math teachers hardly taught at all; they would use homework to force students to teach themselves, spending class time going over the homework, maby giving some notes, and then giving more homework for the following day.
also, when young children are given lots of homework in elementary and middle school, they burn out under the stress; i could see it happening to myself. This leads to risky behavior and underacheivement in high school and beyond. high school is supposed too be “the best par of your life”, but students are also pretty much told that the only way to have a sucessful future is to just work all through high school to get into collage. according to my tachers, the weekend is just extra time to get extra homework done.
about this specific case; there is definitely somthing that at least borders on child abuse. This type of mental abuse should not exist, especially in schools that are supposed to nurture young children.
also, homework wastes countless peices of paper daily
thank you for reading
September 28th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
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i just wanted to thank everyone for leaving such thoughtful comments. right now i’m working on getting a group of other students together to approach the administration of the school. I have to remind myself that there is no promise of success in my conquest.
I want to just print out some studies, do some research, and give it to a teacher. They won’t be able to deny that homework is not the answer.
As Erin was saying, some teachers don’t do anything. My history teacher does nothing. She pretty much makes us summarize the twenty pages of reading we had for homework and then assigns more. We spend the majority of class doing nothing, but sitting and just doing mindless work. There is no point in this work. It is completely non-beneficial.
I just go to one of those schools where homework is such a widespread idea. I mean they give A LOT of homework and I feel it would be very hard for them to stop. Nonetheless, I feel they need to at least re-adjust the homework load.
Also Alexandra, I find your blog fascinating and interesting. I’d love to talk to you further.
September 30th, 2008 at 12:42 am
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Wow. You just described the life of my 17 year old…(a senior in public school). Just keep telling yourself….only a couple more years, (taking college into consideration)…and then you’re learning will be in your hands for the rest of your life…I don’t know how my 17 year old does it.
And the tension in our house increases by 100% (very calm during the day, just my homeschooled 8 year old and I) when my 15 and 17 year old come home.. I can’t believe the homework they have…and everyone gets crabby and yelling and it’s just horrible sometimes..I really wish they didn’t have that pressure…
A nudge towards homeschooling my 8 year old came through her getting homework IN KINDERGARTEN! At six years old! Reading, writing words – what happened to the alphabet and playtime? And it was like an hour a day and she was sooo miserable. I’ve homeschooled her since. She’s a very happy child. (She was extremely happy before school – her personality did a complete turnaround the year she was in school – crying – nightmares – all kinds of stuf…). So glad I homeschool her. Best thing I ever did.
Anyhow, my heart goes out to you. Just keep saying..only a couple more years..only a couple more years! Then you’ll be able to create your own life!
October 5th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
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ugh..I didn’t proof before I posted..I’m really not a spelling idiot…(in fact I write for a living..well, kind of living..) I know you’re is supposed to be your and whatever else is in there! (I have a habit of being apostrophe happy when I’m typing what I’m thinking!) And I’m too lazy to capitalize my “I’s” all the time…hmm…maybe my writing is too “I” centric!
October 5th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
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fivekitten, you get five lashes for your grammar lapse. Just kidding! I LOVED your post.Don’t worry about your mistake, we all make them. Even me, an unrepentent “Eats, Shoots, and Leaves” person.
I also homeschooled, for one year, and my biggest regret is that I didn’t start sooner. If there’s one positive light shining here, it is the legions of people now abandoning school for homeschooling. If you can do it, omeschooling is the best, the true answer because you call the shots and you tailor a program (be it school at home or unschooling or anything in between) uniquely suited to your child’s needs. If you can homeschool, put your energies into that rather than fighting with the school. The time it takes to write a letter or schedule a meeting, you could be researching curriculum and homeschool support groups. But do write that letter and schedule that meeting when you leave.
Not a day goes by that I don’t wince over what I didn’t do. My best advice: don’t grimace and grin and bear it, espeically if your children are young. Don’t throw away their childhood. Consider homeschooling. If your child loves to learn, that’s the best prescription. Your child can read to her heart’s delight, you can go to museums all you want and your child gets maximum sleep. What on earth could be better?
LBJ
October 5th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
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As a 17 year-old Junior in High School I have quickly realized that I will not have a childhood to look back on with euphoria. I have hours of homework per night, multiple tests per week, and multiple projects and reading assignments per month. All of this work leaves me with no life. I love to read. I can enjoy the simple pleasure of reading the books I want to read, because I have too much school work. I cannot go have fun with my friends because I have too much school work. School has stripped me of my childhood, and the worst thing is that teachers don’t give a damn, because it’s just a job to them and the way they earn their money. I yearn for moments where I can just lay down and relax, and not have to stress about school. We spend approximately 10 years of re-callable childhood years. We spend the next 70 or so years being adults, never again to have the joy of being youthful. School is taking away that joy for me, and I no longer have a work ethic or an eagerness to learn. School has ruined my childhood.
October 9th, 2008 at 12:06 am
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Please understand that, to some extent, the “homework complaint” is the complaint of the privileged few. Many parents are fighting for school materials, crime-free environments, and for teachers who will work to help their children to realize their potential. In some cases, parents are just hoping that their children will be able to read when they leave school and that when they leave, they will have a diploma in their hands rather than a baby.
October 17th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
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I love you, Miss Bird.
October 17th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
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Hi,
I wanted to make sure that you did not perceive my comment as dismissive. I know how much homework sucks.
I see how hard you work. I am very proud of you for all that you accomplish in school and out of school and, most of all, for your integrity and sense of decency, the respect that you show to others and for your honest and beautiful heart.
I want you to know that I do not view this situation as ideal. I wrote a letter to Carol Britton two years ago and incrementally have fought the fight. I want you to know that I love you very much and I do believe that you will benefit from this. I have chosen this route because I want as many doors to be open to you as possible. This is the system that we have. We can fight to change it, and we should. But I do believe that we have to beat them at their own game.
When I was young, teachers scarcely encouraged girls. We had courses in cooking and sewing in high school! I don’t mean to sound preachy but I will tell you that the real world and the injustices of the workplace make this look like child’s play.
One day you will remember these years as the easy ones. I’m sure that is hard to believe.
I recognize the sacrifices that you have made and continue to make and I admire your commitment to school. You have an incredible work ethic and have learned the value of education. Above all, hopefully, you have a love of learning as well.
I am not blind to the pitfalls of the private school model. It is, in part, why you have the social life that you do. It is why you have so many mental health days, extended curfews and the freedom that you enjoy. The number of absences that I allow should offer a glimpse into my irreverence for “the system”. You know that I am not a homework zealot. You have my complete support in any effort to minimize your homework load, to the extent that it is possible.
I know that it is flawed. I cannot change the system overnight. If I could, I would. This is, in my opinion, the best that I can offer you. You have been provided an educational opportunity that few kids in this country or world will ever receive. You and your friends will go on to do great things, to lead the world, to change the world.
I hope that one day you will understand why this is the imperfect choice that I have made for you.
I love you very much.
Mommy
October 17th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
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Teachers are doing what they believe they need to do in order for us to learn.
A lot of the problem is the students. I’m sure that if you were satisfied with B’s and occasional C’s, your homework load would be much less.
I’m reading the slave narrative of Frederick Douglass right now. As a young child, he used to trade bread for reading lessons during his rare playtime hours.
I am a junior, taking all advanced classes, and feeling the stress of a large workload. We are so lucky to live in a country and a time when we can receive such an incredible education. In many countries across the globe, the average education is fifth grade. After that, it becomes obsolete, because jobs aren’t available anyways.
I’m sorry. I feel for you, I really do. It just infuriates me to hear so many privileged people complaining about their many opportunities.
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
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I hear ya. I’m also in grade 10 and I can truly say that homework is seriously affecting my health. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I have absolutely no social life after school and I pretty much never get to do the things I love anymore. Almost every night I’m stuck with hours upon hours of homework. Some nights I can have up to 10 hours of homework!! On more than one occasion I’ve been up to six o’clock in the morning doing homework. It takes me forever because I’m an extreme perfectionist, I have trouble concentrating, have a hard time with writer’s block and for the most part just want good grades. But really, is good grades really worth my sanity? Almost everyday now I find myself crying over my homework. I used to be a cheerful, happy, optimistic person who always laughed, but now it seems I have nothing to look forward to. I get up at six, go to school for six hours and then end up with seven hours or more of homework. It’s making me miserable and I’m finding myself more impatient with everyone around me because of it. I’ve been having severe nervous breakdowns and I even get physically sick. If I spend one moment doing something I love, I can’t even enjoy it because I know in the back of my mind that I’m procrastinating on my homework. I don’t even look forward to long weekends because they’re filled with projects and assignments. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed, I just want to cry all the time. My childhood is being wasted. I don’t even have the time to get a part time job. I’m also incredibly groggy all the time because I haven’t been getting much sleep. Too many times I’ve been stuck in front of a computer screen till four in the morning and I’ve had just about enough. Teachers have to seriously rethink the amount of homework they’re giving us. I don’t even want to go to college or university anymore. I’ve completely lost my motivation. I find myself more often not completing my homework because I’m too physically stressed out to concentrate on it. I’ve been going through serious depressions because of it. I hate it with a passion. Most of the homework teachers give us is completely pointless and sometimes even unreasonable. Most of it doesn’t increase my learning at all, it just makes me more frustrated. *sigh* I’m losing myself to homework, I’ve becoming a depressed and emotionally unstable person lol. I need help or atleast one day off, just one. I’m too young for this, I feel like and old person lol. I know I should feel privileged to have such a goo education, but it’s hard when you only have an hour a day to really do the things you love. I don’t mean to complain so much, but I’m miserable here. At least I know I’m not the only one going through it lol
February 15th, 2009 at 12:35 am
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I hear ya. I’m also in grade 10 and I can truly say that homework is seriously affecting my health. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I have absolutely no social life after school and I pretty much never get to do the things I love anymore. Almost every night I’m stuck with hours upon hours of homework. Some nights I can have up to 10 hours of homework!! On more than one occasion I’ve been up to six o’clock in the morning doing homework. It takes me forever because I’m an extreme perfectionist, I have trouble concentrating, have a hard time with writer’s block and for the most part just want good grades. But really, is good grades really worth my sanity? Almost everyday now I find myself crying over my homework. I used to be a cheerful, happy, optimistic person who always laughed, but now it seems I have nothing to look forward to. I get up at six, go to school for six hours and then end up with seven hours or more of homework. It’s making me miserable and I’m finding myself more impatient with everyone around me because of it. I’ve been having severe nervous breakdowns and I even get physically sick. If I spend one moment doing something I love, I can’t even enjoy it because I know in the back of my mind that I’m procrastinating on my homework. I don’t even look forward to long weekends because they’re filled with projects and assignments. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed, I just want to cry all the time. My childhood is being wasted. I don’t even have the time to get a part time job. I’m also incredibly groggy all the time because I haven’t been getting much sleep. Too many times I’ve been stuck in front of a computer screen till four in the morning and I’ve had just about enough. Teachers have to seriously rethink the amount of homework they’re giving us. I don’t even want to go to college or university anymore. I’ve completely lost my motivation. I find myself more often not completing my homework because I’m too physically stressed out to concentrate on it. I’ve been going through serious depressions because of it. I hate it with a passion. Most of the homework teachers give us is completely pointless and sometimes even unreasonable. Most of it doesn’t increase my learning at all, it just makes me more frustrated. *sigh* I’m losing myself to homework, I’ve becoming a depressed and emotionally unstable person lol. I need help or atleast one day off, just one. I’m too young for this, I feel like and old person lol. I know I should feel privileged to have such a goo education, but it’s hard when you only have an hour a day to really do the things you love. I don’t mean to complain so much, but I’m miserable here. I’m not saying I hate school, just the homework part. I’m trying to be more positive about all this… I need to be unless I want to lose my sanity completely lol. Anyway… peace love joy and happiness…all you need is love and always look on the bright side of life :) … sorry I’ve been ranting on for so long….
February 15th, 2009 at 12:46 am
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Empathy! I get serious writer’s block too–the saddest part is I really like all the stuff we read in english, and all I end up remembering is how hard the essays were for me and how embarrassed/sad I was that most of the stuff I turned in was late. The whole educational system needs a serious overhaul.
I do also want to comment on the post left by ‘Sarah,’ #13. I disagree with your assertion that the blame rests mostly on the students. It is true that some teachers are amazing and great–I’m taking classes from a few right now–and it’s true that some students are overachievers. However, there are also many teachers who may know about their subject but know nothing about how to teach, and I think lots of students think they NEED A’s and B’s because that’s what’s expected of them, from the community and from their parents. When one letter is used to sum up a semester’s worth of experience in a class, and kids are taught that college and good jobs and therefore happiness rides on those little letters, students feel like they have no choice. In my carpool once I had the opportunity to hear the other kid receive half and hour’s worth of a comprehensive, vituperative dressing-down from his mother for receiving a B on his quarter grade in history. Is it the kid’s fault because he didn’t ‘settle for a B or a C’ if he has a homework crunch next quarter?
Yes, the teachers and schools and parents also get caught in this ‘grade trap’ too, the blame can’t be laid on any one party. But that means we have to work together to change this stuff, not sit around and say ‘its their fault, it’s their fault, I’m not a part of this.’
Yes, we should absolutely be grateful for the opportunities we have–I have watched my friend who changed schools when her mom went back to law school slowly lose her love and excitement for learning and become cynical and hardened, and it kills me by inches because I know how much joy she used to get from school. But just because we don’t have one set of problems doesn’t mean our lives are perfect or there’s something wrong with us if they aren’t–neither money nor opportunities buy happiness, and if you’re worn down emotionally, psychologically and physically like some students are, you’re in no position to truly take advantage of those opportunities. The fact that some people have cancer is not a reason to refuse medication and disparage researching treatments for diabetes or hepatitis. There are serious problems with our education system for kids of all ‘levels of privilege,’ and I think that the fact that these problems occur across the whole spectrum should be a clear message that something has to change.
May 19th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
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I agree with you so much. Right now I am a sophomore at a magnet school. There’s only one AP class offered right now for sophomore year so I took it to see what AP is like, plus I took all the honors (Chemistry, Spanish III, English II, Algebra II), and of course, taking my program area classes. Plus, I have to stay after school on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for club meetings. When I get home, I feel really exhausted but I know I just have to do my homework. I spend between 4 and 7 hours a day on homework. Don’t get me wrong, I love school too, but this is just too much. I barely see my best friends, my friends and I miss out activities that I loved to do so much like swimming, working out at the gym and going to concerts. Plus, I have to babysit kids over the weekend. My mom keeps saying that it was my choice to attend this school and she’s right, I decided I wanted to go to this school, but I never expected that this school could ruin my health so much (not just physically, but mentally and socially). I also lost my motivation to go to college, cause I know it would also be hard.
I also know we are kind of spoiled cause we have so much information to learn that other countries can’t get. We have this big advantage to use all this info. But sometimes, to me, it feels as if teachers are teaching me nothing and they just give you the textbook, then expect you to learn it all by yourself, even if you have trouble with it, and you can’t ask for help, cause the next day you have a test on it.
Obviously if we didn’t have any homework, it would make everyone lazy and no one would learn anything. That is true, but teachers cramming us with so much homework just feels like torture, cause in the end you feel like you’re ready to die or to shoot yourself.
I agree with you, 100%, and I do think that this needs to change.
September 12th, 2009 at 12:53 am
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Great post, Lidia:
You write: “Obviously if we didn’t have any homework, it would make everyone lazy and no one would learn anything.”
Not necessarily. Although it sure looks that way sometimes, doesn’t it? I introduced my daughter to three John Steinbeck books and some other classics this summer she’d never covered in class.
The sad thing about your statement is that some educators actually think that. That if it’s not forced, the kids will never learn a single thing. That’s a misconception but nurturing a life long learner begins at an early age.
That is why I have been outspoken about homework. Because it limited learning rather than enhanced it. If my daughter, after a long day at school, chooses to read Wuthering Heights in 5th grade and write a novel, let her. Don’t make her stop. If you do, you are sending the message it’s not okay to read high quality literature or write elegantly and well. Unless it’s assigned. Let’s stop and think. Is that the outcome we really want?
My daughter attends a selective magnet high school too. When I see students who get top grades, check off every to do box on the way to success, load up on extra curriculars, but I don’t see a spark, I don’t see them reading for pleasure, I see them tired and burned out, I have the answer to my question. Yes, apparently that is the outcome we wanted.
September 12th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
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Lidia, take good care of yourself, and as hard as it is at these kinds of schools, do try to get as much sleep as possible.
And no need to apologize, lest someone write you off as whiny. My daughter likes her school too. And that’s a testament to how serious and earnest you two are. You love your school. You don’t want to be worked to death. The two should not be mutually exclusive. You and my child should not have to pay such a steep price in order to attend a school you like that challenges your abilities.
September 12th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
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I’m reading Jess and Lidia. I missed this earlier thread. We keep being told by educators that homework in the younger years prepares kids to do well in middle school. Then a sharp rise in homework amount is justified by telling us, it will help your children adjust to high school. And in high school the students are led to believe that if they don’t sleep and take a plethora of APs, they will be completely prepared for college.
But we’re completely missing something here. I like to say, we are killing our children in order to save them. In order to prepare them for the rigors of college, we have stolen their childhood. In that marvelous film, an expert says that elementary school children are worrying about high school. Yet childhood wonder and imagination are two of the most seminal ingredients our children need for success in college and in life! We have completely narrowed the definition of success.
Listen to these hardworking high achieving students on this thread. And one common theme that runs through their sentiments is a loss of desire to go to college. Yes, they will go. But if you burn out a child at sixteen, you are doing significant damage to their dreams and work ethic.
I see this with my own child on college tours. She used to be so enthusiastic, she had so many lofty dreams, she is so talented and creative. She is also ADD so homework has had its share of challenges for her, not cognitive, but juggling that immense homework load.
She wanted to be an engineer. She would be amazing at it. I’ve always known she’s had this talent. Now she’s shying away. So what?, you ask, she can pick another path. That’s not the point. At each college we visit, she asks me hesitantly, will it be too much work?
She was so strong in math. I really question whether we should have halted the two year ahead math track because she doesn’t like math so much anymore. That was not the goal! And it wasn’t the cognitive aspect that turned her off, it was the fifty math problems a night. Had it been rigor and challenge without overload, she’d be in a very different place now. Yea, yea, I know college will be rigorous. But you don’t have to duplicate college in 9th grade! Allow kids to grow and mature on a natural timeline and they’ll knock our socks off with what they can do. Rush through the stages and your child will regress.
So much for all that preparation. In contrast, homeschooled students we know enter college with zest and vigor. They are so excited to take on this new challenge. And you know what? They do remarkably well. We know a few girls who were unschooled for most of their lives and then entered community college in lieu of high school. They got into top universities and never experienced all that childhood burnout. They are tearing down the door to learn and college professors we know love students like these, who come to class wanting to learn and hungry to soak up as much as they can.
One homeschool mom told me just the other day, my daughter has come out of her K-12 academic journey with an unbridled love of learning. How many schooled teens can lay claim to the same ethos?
September 12th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
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Thanks for the advice, Homework Blues. I do try to get in bed by the latest 9:30 because I have to wake up at 5:30 the next morning, and catch my bus.
I still can’t believe myself I had to cancel my date with my boyfriend cause of all the load of homework I have.
September 13th, 2009 at 1:06 am
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To the people that are saying we should be happy with B’s and C’s-I am happy with those grades if I tried my best and learned something, but colleges aren’t.
November 14th, 2009 at 11:30 am
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Anonymous, I hear you. When I mention how many hours of homework it takes, some on this blog blame the student. Oh, you’re such a perfectionist! If you weren’t always gunning for that A, you’d have a life.
For the record, no, my daughter is not shooting for all A’s, that would be impossible, she’d be up all night She tries to get as much done as possible, she is deliberate, thorough and creative so it takes a while and we have taught her to blow off lesser assignments. She has to. Same argument, she’d be up all night. She resists but she’s learned, better to hyper-focus on major assignments than to always be doing a little bit of a whole lot. An education that is a mile long and an inch deep so the student feels she’s working all the time but not learning very much in the bargain.
But as you say, she takes a hit. Those lower grades do show up on her transcript. We’ve always promoted learning in this household anyway. An over-obsession with grades leads to the classic, can’t see the forest for the trees.
November 14th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
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Anonymous- Yes colleges are not happy with B’s and C’s. However, if these grades are based upon incompletion of homework and not mastery of the subject, we need to rethink our grading policies in high school. One more thought….no one ever really masters a subject. I have re-read some of the classics I was assigned in college. In my twenties, these books didn’t resonate with me because I lacked the maturity and life experience to understand their grand themes. Today, colleges and universities are geared towards preparing students for “real life.” Ironic since only real life can prepare you for real life.
November 14th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
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I am 25 right now. I dropped out of my second year of high school, and actually home schooled myself due to the intense stress. It started in middle school, it’s true — We would have, no exaggeration, an easy 8 hours of homework every night. This only got worse as I proceeded towards high school. I went from a straight A student to a nearly straight F student, and all during those crucial years that really make your question your self worth, and self esteem.
After dropping out, I earned a high school diploma on my own — In only two years, and with a 90% grade point average. Not bad, really. I’m happy I was able to prove all the teachers who called me “lazy” and “stupid” wrong.
Was I able to go to a top university? No, of course not, I had to “settle” with community college. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I was near suicidal in “traditional” schooling.
The bigger issue at hand, and maybe not everyone here will agree with me — But these intense high school requirements are not, at all, preparing you for college. Matter of fact, I very thoroughly believe that high school is a lot more difficult, and harder on a student compared to college. There are no hours of useless homework or studying, simply the student doing the work they feel is necessary to learn and succeed with. When I’m no longer interested in a certain topic, it’s an easy option to cease investigation. I haven’t had a failing grade in any subject since leaving high school. I don’t see college to be as demanding at all.
Which, also, brings up another topic — A lot of these elitist colleges expect straight A’s, that part is true. The part that isn’t true is the fact that a college diploma ensures gainful employment. Many people assume it guarantees it. It doesn’t. I have many friends who either have, or went back to school for masters degrees, and they *still* cannot land a steady, good job. Many of them have opted for careers in retail, something they didn’t even need college for at all. At 25 I should know people who are starting real careers — I don’t. Many of these kids have bachelor’s degrees and yet they live at home with their parents scratching their head and wondering why they can’t get a “real” job even when they followed all the “rules” and completed college.
A diploma isn’t always enough. Sometimes it’s who you know, or how well you really know your field outside of college work — However, more often, it’s neither of these. Competition has gotten so thick, and so many (essentially all) students achieve a bachelor’s degree that they begin looking for even higher education beyond that. When will it stop? Will you have to be in college until your mid-30′s, and as the standards raise, the more schooling is expected? Or will there be a reversal where employers will have to look BEYOND the certificate and find people who may not have had the best grades, but are really passionate about their work? Because, right now, a masters isn’t enough — At least not in NYC. A masters has just become a standard. It’s scary.
All in all, it becomes frustrating. I am relieved to say that I feel I’m above the mentality that college is the biggest factor in landing a career. Determination and ability show through, at least, eventually. I definitely support college to learn whatever, well, you’re interested in learning! I’m quite happy to have my degree in journalism. It’s what I always wanted. I will never, however, mistake that for job security. I have seen way too many people raised on this belief only to later fall on their face after college and feel puzzled as to where they went wrong.
Education is so important, but I think it’s more important that the student actually enjoys it, and realizes that it isn’t the end of world if they’re not perfect.
November 20th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
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It’s 3:56am. I still have another history essay to write, and two summaries to write for English. Luckily I finished all my other subjects.
I’m a high-achieving (Ranked in the Top 2% of Class) Junior in a public high school, and this is a normal night for me.
The pressures are incredibly intense. Every period of my school day, aside from lunch and PE, are honors or AP, and I get plenty of homework from them. My main issue is undoubtedly homework. Originally, up through about freshman year, I maintained myself and had good study habits; I worked through all the homework, rigorous as it was. However, through sophomore year to now, school has just knocked me down. I score highly on tests, essays, and basically any other in class assignment. It’s not like I’m just a good test taker; I have very little trouble writing well or supporting my own opinions. My averages are deflated, however, in classes that give large amounts of homework. It’s ridiculous. History is by far the worst. Essay after essay and project after project that are completely irrelevant from the tests are given regularly. I’m forced to hand in projects and papers late, at the cost of several points. My homework average is lower than my test scores. In English, my essay average is about 8-10% higher than my homework average. I’ve been forced to cut corners, and even then, homework is my downfall.
I’m far from inept or stupid; I’d be willing to go as far as to say that I feel I am among the gifted fraction of students. It’s just the stress and organization of the current school system that brings me down. It saps my motivation. Sometimes I find myself unwilling to do assignments or simply doing them poorly. I am positive I have the capacity to do each individual assignment very well, but when all are piled on at once in a never ending sequence with no time and no sleep, I suffer. The worst part is that at least half the classes I take I have no use for, and take solely for the fact honors weight classes look good on college applications. So not only am I wasting my time with homework, but I am also slaving away toward an effort that is essentially useless for me anyway. The culmination of all these factors is simple: reduced motivation, increased stress and damage to both physical and mental health. I’ve been getting sick very often lately, and even my doctor has told me to get more sleep and stop with the stress. The school system does not care, and teachers teach by telling kids to work themselves.
Also, whoever mentions that it would be better to simply settle for a B or C does not understand the situation. For one, colleges are already competitive enough and while I would be healthier in every sense of the word if I stopped with the homework, my grades would plummet and I would not be able to get into my ideal schools. The main thing, is that it isn’t that I can’t get A’s. If the limit of my ability was a C+, I would accept it. The problem is that I can get A’s. Every one of my classes by itself is not extraordinarily difficult based on its tests, but by the homework given by each, and total volume of effort needed for every class together impedes me, which lowers my averages in them all. Teachers, especially those who teach honors and AP, notice students have the drive to do basically anything to get A’s – so they give them work and have them teach themselves. To add to that, they are ignorant of the fact that their class is not the only one in the building. They give workloads that are barely tolerable on their own, but are pure hell when added into everything else. I have no time for friends, family, or anything other than school. I’ve been forced to drop karate classes and basically anything else that shows sign of a childhood.
So now, to be direct, I have to go back to homework at this late hour, and then get up at 6:30. I think that’s why I have not grown at all in 3 years, at the point in my life when I should be having spurts – no sleep from school. Oh, and the best part! I have homework to do this Thanksgiving weekend, while I deal with family matters and such; also, my close uncle is in the hospital, but I haven’t seen him yet and I probably won’t until Friday or Saturday – late Thursday is everything goes perfectly. Things never go perfectly.
Still, if this is high school, what is college? A career? I’ll be dead by the time I’m 40 at this rate.
Best part of my life? Just go. Get away from me. Don’t even think that.
Sorry if I was too long; I know I rambled and probably repeated points, but I needed a rant.
November 25th, 2009 at 4:10 am
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My child is in Grade 3 and I want to make certain that her story does not end like the last two commentors.
When I read your story, Knocked Down, all I can think is …where are your parents? Why are they not shutting this down? I feel a parent has a responsibility to protect their child from unfair labour practices. If you had a job and were working these hours, wouldn’t they be concerned? Why is it different just because it’s schoolwork?
November 25th, 2009 at 8:36 am
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Knocked Down, I really want to read your entire comment. I’m sorry, I couldn’t today, I began and it made me so so sad. I fell asleep last night and woke up at 3am to find my daughter still up. I don’t allow her to stay up late so she prays I’ll fall asleep and then she sneaks in the rest of her work. And people would call this kid lazy.
I hear you. My sympathies are with you. I’ll read your comment soon and offer some hope and suggestions.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:33 am
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PsychMom, I’m that parent. I DON’T allow her to stay up. I make her go to bed. Yes, it means reduced grades. Yes, it means she won’t get into her dream college. She takes less APs than other kids at her school. When the parents ask, I tell them we are all about depth, that it’s quality, not quantity. If you put it eloquently, people will listen.
I sometimes fall asleep like last night. Usually I’m up and making her go to bed. I don’t care. Her health and well being are more important. Sadly, I’m in the minority on this at the school.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:39 am
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I know you’re in the minority HWB, because from what I’m hearing and reading about many parents today, they see these slaving kids as successful and the model to which other kids should aspire.
I’m wondering HomeworkBlues, if you could go back in your daughter’s life, do you think there was any way to have changed how she reacts to school work? Is there a way to instill the idea of self protection that says, “I don’t sacrifice sleep for this stuff”….
Is there a middle ground parents can take that says “education is important” without giving the impression that they must do everything that’s told to them? I would agree that talking about schooling with our children as if it’s something to be ignored is probably not the way to go, but it’s hard to give SO much importance to it (and respect) if we think we’re setting them up for stress, anxiety and exhaustion.
November 25th, 2009 at 11:18 am
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PsychMom, you asked about my parents and their stance on the matter. They have always supported me, and have sometimes told me to settle for a lower grade. They hate it as much as I do. The work keeps me locked up in my room all day. Also, once or twice a month they allow me to cut school so I can catch up on missed work – it’s more of a necessity than a gift.
Still, while they agree that homework does more harm they good, they also see it as a necessary evil, and I am made to do it. I won’t lie, I take many breaks while working, and if my Dad comes into my room and sees me talking with friends online, he will get angry. His opinion is primarily that if I came home, went right to work and did it non-stop, I would be able to get a closer to satisfactory amount of sleep each night.
That’s almost true; I usually get home at about 4pm, and if I worked non-stop, including time for dinner and small household chores, I would probably be in bed at about 10-11pm each night. At the expense of the small fragment of a life I have left.
There’s a saying/rhetorical question that goes around between honors students: “Of these three things, you may only choose two: Good Grades, Sleep and a Life. Which two do you want?”
It’s almost the truth.. If I sacrificed my life completely, I’d still only get 7-8 of my recommended 9-10 hours of sleep a night.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
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I think being happy is more important than a dream college. College doesn’t guarantee a career, after all. I’d rather go to an average college close to home then to some fancy far-away dream college. In the end the job you obtain will boil down to your ability and determination, not what college you went to.
November 26th, 2009 at 12:12 am
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That’s very true….for the most part, which school you went to makes no difference once you are in a job and have some experience. It’s what you know that becomes more important.
November 26th, 2009 at 8:21 am
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We started hearing that line as soon as my daughter got accepted. The staff thought it was funny too, It’s oft repeated, it’s a mantra.
“Grades, Friends, Sleep. Pick two.”
November 26th, 2009 at 9:54 am
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Wow. We really need to change homework in America…
November 29th, 2009 at 1:43 am
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AGREED Thank you so much for putting this I agree with every blessed thing on here
I am a sophomore too and have a social life for a whole 3 minutes inbetween classes and get sick from not sleeping and I study 24/7 its rediculous and my grades still are not A’s because during the tests we get SUPRISED!!!!
I hate school and teachers who dont understand and we get like 7 tests a day sometimes and teachers say they talk…Definitely not about the truely important things instead there husbands/wives or what there eating for dinner….
Thank You again and if we lived close I swear we would be BEST FRIENDS!!!!
December 5th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
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I have had my galbladder out and have constant stomach pains and ulcers now because of how sick I made myself stressing about grades it ruined me please I wouldnt wish this on anyone
Thank You for your Article
December 5th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
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I guess I am glad I skipped high school…I am now in my final semester at USC, which, I guess isn’t that prestigious, but it’s not that bad of a school I’m told [I don't really follow these things, USC just happened to be close to home].
Sounds like high school entails far more work then college. Not that there is all that much learning going on here, but I think the freedom will increase exponentially. If this is the norm in high school, it is a wonder the normal course load isn’t 32 units instead of 16 in college…
You are probably better off dropping out of such a system and going to a community college for a year or two, and then transferring into a big school [2/3 of your education is bull**** GE coursework no matter where you go].
High school, as an educational institution is completely worthless from an educational viewpoint I believe. I gave a speech on the matter a few years ago in a public speaking [honors level] course, and convinced my professor to have her daughter skip high school. It is, from what I can tell, only a detriment to students, never a benefit. All of the most talented, most intelligent people I’ve met in my life [who are under 30]. seem to have skipped or dropped out of high school. I think that alone speaks volumes.
Good luck to anyone who chooses to stick with it. I think I understand all the partying that goes on at college now [I myself dislike them, but most students here spend more time partying than studying]. Don’t hate college though, it gets far, far easier.
If you REALLY want to get ahead, drop out of high school, and start doing internships. You’ll be making several times what your college-bound cohorts are at the same age. A good company will get you into, and pay for high education if you prove yourself a valuable asset.
February 8th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
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Anonymous I appreciate your message but wonder, Do people who are 15 and 16 years old get internships? I can understand homeschooling and taking college courses but I would think you have to be a pretty ambitious go-getter to get into the world of work at 15…
February 9th, 2010 at 8:07 am
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PsychMom: Yes, teens can and do get internships. Some schools help kids get them and some get them on their own.
February 9th, 2010 at 9:15 am
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i don’t understand why you are forced to go to school
i mean, primary school is fine, you may hate it but it is easy and gives you a basic education
but in high school, when you start to form your own views on life, you are still forced to go to school no matter what. its like our opinions don’t matter or something just because we aren’t legally ‘adults’
most of the stuff i’ve learnt i learned was from home or elsewhere and i rarely do any of my homework or assignments so really, to me, school has no significance apart from the fact that i go there everyday.
shouldn’t there be some kind of consent form that asks your permission to be ordered around by uptight pricks (teachers) all day long. most kids just accept that they are being ordered around by complete strangers all day. i mean seriously, COMPLETE STRANGERS, people we’ve never met before and don’t even know telling us what to do and what to say and where to go. ITS CRAZY!!!! Think about it! it really is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2010 at 5:15 am
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sorry, not all teachers are uptight pricks
some are awesome
March 31st, 2010 at 5:19 am
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but they are complete strangers
STRANGERS!
March 31st, 2010 at 5:19 am
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I’m traveling so just quickly checking in. On the post regarding skipping high school for college, this actually makes a lot of sense. I’ll elaborate on this further when I return.
This approach has been really picking up steam for 2e kids, in particular. Skipping high school is a an amazing option particularly for students who are very academically advanced but don’t want to put up with the crushing often useless homework of high school. It’s a wonderful option. It doesn’t mean you send your 13 year old off to college. You can also choose to do this as part of a homeschool package and then send your kid off, if she wants, at age 15. Th\e reason it works for 2kids is, school presents two options: worked to death or bored to death. If you skip high school in lieu of college, you can take your time. Keep the challenge but take fewer courses. It’s the workload that’s crushing, not the content. After four years of this, you’re still ahead of your high school peers because you’ve already done college. It eliminates the pressure of high school where kids juggle seven courses, are dangerously sleep deprived and can really burn out by graduation.,
This makes so much sense, I am surprised more parents don’t think of it. I believe it’s because institutional schooling is so ingrained, that people are still frightened to choose an alternate path.
My friend who did this was asked, but what about the high school prom? She laughed. She wasn’t about to trade a magical lifestyle where her son got all the sleep his body needed but still managed to be a good four years ahead in math, for a….PROM!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:56 am
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Albert Einstein said that the one thing left to do after public education is educate yourself. This is completely true. Institutionalized education is brainwashing our children. I attend a public religious school in Europe and the amount of homework we have every night is phenomenal. School starts at 9.00 and finishes at six, afterwards, I could have up to six hours homework (including study). This is absolutely ridiculous, I am 16 years old. Nobody, anywhere, should have to do this amount of work a day. Children today are so over-scheduled that they do not know how to think properly anymore.
April 12th, 2010 at 11:34 am
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If you don’t like it then stop. If you don’t want to stop, then stop complaining. It’s life, it’s not fair, but I think you must have a lot of free time writing that big story out. 6 hours of homework? You must be joking, so stop with the exaggerations. Nobody gets that much homework, honestly. If you do, switch schools.
April 26th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
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Jasmin, lots and lots of teens actually do get that much homework. It’s unhealthy, it’s unkind, it’s ridiculous, it’s insane. If you or your child does not, great. Fine. Enjoy.
No, I would not advise people to stop complaining. Complaining is the first step towards recognizing there’s a problem. Complacency doesn’t move a thing. But don’t stop at complaining. ACT!
April 27th, 2010 at 6:30 am
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hhhg
May 6th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
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I went to a college prep school in high school. My parents got me a scolarship because we were middle class and that was the only way we could afford it. I had to keep my grades up to keep the scolarship, so I was up until early in the morning (2 or 3 am) every night doing my schoolwork. I made all A’s and B’s in high school. I was an all A’s student before that, but I was up so late that I couldn’t pay attention in class. I used to love school and learning. Excessive homework changed that; by the end of 9th grade, school was just something to be endured. I’m a Freshman in college now, but I seriously considered not going to college because I was so burned out and it was all just so hard and I didn’t want to do it any more. I like college better than high school. At least the assignments have a purpose and aren’t just busy work assigned by incompetent teachers.
May 16th, 2010 at 5:06 pm
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Somehow 6 hours seems a bit exaggerated, however it is possible. When I asked one of my classmates how much it took her to complete a project, she told me that it was about 40 minutes for her. I did it in 3 hours… and mine wasn’t even half as good. I literally gave up on homework. I didn’t do any of them. Well I did some but very rarely and only the important ones. I’m in high-school right now and the next year will be my last. My grades in this year were… pathetic. But I don’t care and I think neither should you. I’m going to force myself to learn at-least something next year. To be honest I didn’t learn anything in high-school yet, anything. I only used my knowledge that I got before. I really believe that school doesn’t teach us anything. Honestly the only place I used my knowledge gained from school is school itself during tests and that’s it. I’m not dumb, I know a lot maybe not those usual useless facts that are being though but still. I am afraid of my future however as I don’t see myself anywhere in this society of ours. I’m start to shake just thinking about University but its the only possible way. I’m afraid I won’t be able to learn anymore. Just a example I want to name. Books- they are created for our enjoyment, much like PC’s and TV’s right? Then why oh why do I hate reading so much? The answer is school. It just forces us to read and since I’m stubborn I resist it. I hated reading. Then after reading about 4 books chosen by myself I actually found out I enjoy reading. But every-time I pick up a book which is in the school program I literally die of boredom.
Self education is the way to go. I learned English through PC and German through TV. My first language is Russian which I know fine and Ukrainian that I practice every Summer vacation. And you know whats funny? The first language I am being taught at school I already started to forget. I can barely speak Latvian anymore. I’m probably weird but I surely know I’m not the only one like this.
Sorry for the negativity. And sorry if my English isn’t very fluid I am quite far from any English speaking country.
June 17th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
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i completely agree im a sophomore in hs and i am constantly stressed over homework even when i am not assigned any i frequently get scared that i do and have a panic attack that i dont know what it is or i left it in my locker
September 12th, 2010 at 11:29 pm
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i dont what to do!!!! MY SCHOOL ITS KILLING ME!!! WE ARE STARTING IGCSE AND OUR COURSEWORKS !!!! im learning french and doing 6-7 hours of coursework everyday. I HAVENT SLEEP SINCE SCHOOL STARTED AND IS AFFECTING ME A LOT!!!! I HAVE PANICK ATTACKS EVERYDAY BECAUSE SOMETIMES I DONT UNDESRTAND A DAMN TNING, AND OUR TEACHERS ALWAYS SCARES US THAT IF WE DONT GET A MINIMUN OF 5 C on our IGCSE EXAMS they will kick us out from the school!
September 26th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
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Thank you so much for posting this! I’m a freshman in high school, and it’s a relief to read that my school isn’t the only homework-crazed institution in America.
In middle school, I was a top-scoring student. National Junior Honor Society, Model UN, Mock Trial, Future Problem Solvers, lots of homework, essays, math, science, music department, etc. Over the years, I had formed strong relationships with my peers and my teachers. School was perfect: I knew that I wanted to succeed, and I honestly believed that I could.
Now, however, high school has begun. It’s been less than a month, and I’m suffocating under a mountain of honors homework. Each teacher has promised us that this is only the beginning — that we can expect his or her class to become increasingly time-consuming within the oncoming weeks. That would be okay, except that everyone has said it: Math, English, Science, History, Spanish, Latin…
I was awake doing homework until at least one (usually later) every night last week, then awake at 5:00 a.m. to get ready and catch the bus (and I often needed to study on the bus, too). That’s less than four hours of sleep each night. I need to sleep at some point, so I can’t possibly survive if all of my classes really do become even more tedious.
I loved middle school; I was so involved, so sure of myself. I worked hard – I frequently spent late nights doing homework – but I never felt so overwhelmed that I wanted to give up entirely. And I always subconsciously knew that if I did become overwhelmed, I could explain the situation to a teacher, and he or she would understand. But now the response would be the same from everyone: “This class is too much for you? Then you’re welcome to move to a lower level.”
The teachers in my high school (it’s a public school) take pride in giving as much homework as possible. They accuse us of wasting hours of the night on Facebook or watching television, yet they fail to realize that it is often the stress and pressure that so much homework exerts on us that compels us to take breaks. And we should be able to take breaks, shouldn’t we?
I spent the summer writing a history essay, an English essay, and working on Spanish projects. I was already fed up with homework by the time I entered school in September. My father spent the last seven months running for a local political office, so I’ve barely seen him. On September 14, he lost the primary. That night, my entire family gathered at a restaurant to watch the polls. Everyone was there: my uncle from Maine, my aunt from South Carolina, my cousins from Boston, relatives from Pennsylvania. I wanted desperately to go, to see my family and to support my dad, yet I had too much homework. The following morning, the local newspaper showed a picture of my dad, my mom, and my two sisters together as the results came in. I was the only one who wasn’t there, and I still was up until 2 a.m. that night doing homework.
Like Sophia, I love school. I love to learn and to succeed, and I know that I can be successful. But, honestly, I’m tired. I’m a freshman and I haven’t “played outside” in years. Most of all, I miss reading. An English teacher in middle school was extremely inspirational: she taught me to love literature and writing. I, too, was hoping to teach English someday, yet my current English teacher, as well as the other teachers in my school, assign such an enormous amount of homework that I don’t have any time now to pleasure read or to write. I feel guilty that I’m even writing this — I’m sure there’s something I should be studying for right now.
The truth is, I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I spend an three hours on assignments that could probably be completed in two-and-a-half hours. But, considering the way that my teachers grade, I have no other option.
School has sparked competitions and resentment between my friends, stress in my family, and exhaustion. I want to spend time with my family, to practice violin, to read classic novels of my choice, and to simultaneously succeed in school. Some teachers are wonderful and intelligent, but others aren’t about to change their ways. I don’t want to drop any honors courses — it simply doesn’t seem like me. I know that sounds insane to some people, but many students in my school know exactly what I am talking about. And yet, as I think about the essay I have to finish before Monday, the science test, the English test, and the week ahead, I feel defeated.
October 3rd, 2010 at 7:41 pm
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Sorry, I meant:
“…my current English teacher, as well as the other teachers in my school, assigns such an enormous amount of homework that I don’t have any time now to pleasure read or to write.”
October 6th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
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Wow-
Reading all these has really given me strength, actually. I am only in 8th grade, but as all of my classes are AP, it doesn’t feel like I am only 13. Honestly, it seems like I have the responsibility of a 25 year old! After an average of 4-7 hours of homework every night, I am expected to help around the house, make my own meal (because I am a vegetarian and the rest of my family is not), and get into bed by 9:00. I used to love to read for hours in bed- now I sneak a flashlight under the covers and finish my Physics homework. You would think my parents would understand because my mom went to Georgetown and became an attorney right away. Neither of them seem to understand the weight load of my homework nowadays, and my relationship with them is sickening due to my anger and irritation. I have become very sensitive and depressed, and I often nearly cry in the middle of my Algebra class when I see how much homework we have. I have had a cold/cough for almost a month now, and I rarely get 8 hrs of sleep. Reading the above comments, it seems like many of you are feelig the exact same. It is not so much that I have my parents or teachers expecting me to get perfect grades- I pressure myself. It has come to the point that If I get a B on an assignment, it is a failire. I don’t think this counts as childhood, but since when has anything been fair?
I am very sorry for the rant, and I probably seem really whiny, but I needed to get it out. It seems like nobody else understands that school is so important to me. I have almost no true friends because I don’t have enough time or energy to give them- and I wouldn’t to be my friend either. I have noticed such a personality and behavior change ever since junior high, and it makes me really sad sometimes. Thanks for reading!
October 13th, 2010 at 11:31 pm
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After reading this article, i nearly fell to my knees. It’s unbelievably brutal.
Unfortunatly, im in the same situation.
I just started year 9 (grade 8) and so far, its not going so well. I get atleast 6 hours of homework a day, along with netball practice and scuba diving for nearly 2 hours each. Our school has provided us with a homework timetable, but it seems that the teachers arent paying much attention to it. We end up getting homework from every subject when we are SUPPOSED to get homework for 3 subjects maximum a day. Our science teacher is unbearable (sorry to say):P. Science is the most terrifying topic when it comes to homework. We get at least 3 hours of science homework, everyday. We even have double lessons, and thats when we get double the homework, and its usually due the next day. Last week, i had 2 reports due, 10 double-paged sheets, and 4 pages of textbook questions due on the same day! This week, he even gave us homework when we were supposed to study for the science exam=S Nearly all of my classmates ended up finishing the homework, rather than studying- they didnt feel so good after the exam =S. I do allocate my time correctly- and i dont slack off.
I usually come home after school at 3:00. I barely have time to eat my lunch. I go upstairs, open up my laptop, and start the homework. I stay awake up till 2 o’clock in the morning, doing either history or science. All the students in my class decided to complain about the homework- especially science, but we were afraid. On wednesday, we told our science teacher that we have a homework timetable you have to follow. he started laughing and said that he couldnt read (or some lame joke like that). We told him that we can read it for him and it clearly says that your not supposed to give us homework today. He said that if u have time to complain, you have time to do your homework. And that was pretty much the end of it.
In math, my fellow classmate ripped out a paper from his maths book , and passed it around the class. He said that if we wanted our science teacher to follow the homework timetable, we had to sign it. I refused, because i thought that it might be a bit too much.
On saturday, the first thing im going to do is sign my name on to that piece of paper.
Homework is like the new child labour. =(
October 14th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
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I’m doing a petition assignment for my Social Studies class on the bad effects of homework. This has been helpful in my research, and i completely agree. I have a sister in high school and at several points all her homework and lack of sleep led to some fights that would be worthy of the title “World War 3″. I’ve heard that some schools lengthen their school days by a few hours and in return the students never receive homework,I wish all schools did that especially since I go to high school next year and am definitely not anticipating the work. You have been very helpful Sophia, keep up the good work!
January 24th, 2011 at 7:37 pm
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Thank you, everyone! As a high school student battling a consistent stream of “all-nighters”, I truly appreciate reading what people have to say. My parents have begun to acknowledge that I am overburdened by A.P. classes and homework, but there’s little they can do. Most teachers (not all, of course) tend to blame late nights on poor time management and procrastination, but, truthfully, most A students procrastinate little. If they do, the procrastination is a result of dread: not dread of working, but a fear of the foreboding hours that will be consumed by either impossible tasks or the other extreme: busywork.
I think the real issue is the every teacher feels obligated to assign a hefty chunk of homework every night. Assignments are proof that the teacher is doing his/her work. To neglect to assign homework is like slacking off, so, teachers dish out assignments whether or not they are necessary. Many teachers, however, fail to realize that most students take 5-7 classes each day, and that each teacher feels a similar obligation. The result is an afternoon, evening, and night consumed by work following an entire school day. The work isn’t always unnecessary, but much of it could be accomplished in the classroom.
Students need to be taught in class. My math teacher spends entire periods review the previous night’s homework and then quizzing us on it. Instead of expecting us to learn the information at home, she could be teaching us the concepts. My history and science teacher do the same: review homework during class rather than teaching.
We all need time for ourselves: not necessarily to fall asleep in front of the television, but to read, learn, and enjoy ourselves. I’ve had wonderful teachers in the past, some of whom have had a lasting effect on me. But right now, I feel as if high school has taken a part of me, as if I have to put life on pause for four years in order to succeed. I’m hoping that maybe, in college, life will officially begin. That probably sounds crazy, but it’s what motivates me to keep going, day after day after day…
February 7th, 2011 at 9:06 pm
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I would hate to be in your situation. I live in Arkansas and go to CCHS. I thought we had allot of homework but after reading this i notice that I have it easy. I’m a freshman and we have many multi-grade classes. We also have laptops and have a presentation a week in speech, Constantly work in economics, have an Algebra assignment a night, are constantly working on stuff in English, and rarely have projects in Physical Science and agri. With this I have plenty of time to spend in Band and Color Guard. If you really get sick of it transfer to another school.
February 23rd, 2011 at 11:35 am
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i fucking hate school
April 5th, 2011 at 2:11 pm
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Too much homework kills. I believe that the reason I was a bit stressed some times during Jr High was because of procrastination, but as I go into my freshman year, I’m taking all honors classes, so I expect a metric ton of homework every night. I can only hope that it only takes me about 3-4 hours to complete and not 6. I really hope you get your life back. I can only hope that mine won’t fall apart.
July 8th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
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Homework almost killed me. Literally. If there was no summer, I would have become suicidal. Reasons for this?
1. My grandma was DYING and all they cared about at that school was that I had a D in history.
2. I was skipping lunches to get some of my work done so I could have a single hour of free time.
3. I lived in my office. I ate there and hardly had time for a shower.
4. I nearly had to QUIT creative writing, art and horses, all of the hobbies I had, to do my homework.
5. It ruined my relationship with my family. The closest thing to a CONVERSATION I had with them was about homework, either fighting over it, or being interrogated of what was due.
Results: A skinny, pale, depressed, anxiety ridden me.
And yet everyone was mad at me for not turning in my homework on time and not thoroughly enough.
October 11th, 2011 at 11:48 pm
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You described my daughter’s experience. As her parents, we monitored carefully, adjusted accordingly (read. Go to sleep. I do not care if it’s not done. Your health is the most important thing here) and were always on the lookout for the fallout.
October 12th, 2011 at 3:22 pm
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I guess my situation isn’t as bad as yours… I’m in year 8. Not many of my teachers give me too much homework. It’s really just maths that’s the problem. Last weekend, I got 14 pages of Maths homework. I’m a perfectionist with homework and I like to make it all neat and tidy. I spent 4 hours on Saturday in the library, and 3 hours on Sunday, at home. That’s 7 hours of Maths homework. By the end of it I was almost in tears of happiness that I had finished it!! When I handed it in to my teacher she said, “You could of done better” Done better on what??
October 20th, 2011 at 5:19 am
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I have had similar experiences to many of the people who have left comments on this site before me. I am a junior in high school, and I feel like I can’t wait a second longer to be finished with it all. Not just junior year, but all of high school. Summer vacations are my saving grace. I don’t know what I would do without them.
I typically have 5-6 hrs of homework a night. I start working when I get home from school, and don’t stop until dinner time, and then continue after. I often find myself abandoning my family at meal times, instead scarfing down my food quickly, standing alone in the kitchen.
I often don’t get to bed until midnight or later, and on bad days (which are becoming more frequent than not), I get up at 4 AM to continue working.
I put all of my energy into maintaining A grades, but this is taking it’s toll physically and emotionally. I feel tired all the time, and I get sick easily. I am depressed, anxious, and extremely stressed, and I feel that the excessive amounts of homework I am assigned every day can take the blame.
I often come home, riled up, frustrated, and upset about the amount of work I have to do. My days almost always end in tears, and this in turn creates a lot of tension elsewhere. I am exhausted, and about ready to give up.
At my school, we have a student handbook. In the handbook, it clearly states that students should have no more than 2 hrs of homework in total every night. Most teachers understand this as each one of them gets to assign 2hrs of homework every night.
Teachers also have no clue about how much time work takes, especially for people who care about their grades. For example, my Pre-Calculus teacher assigned us 25 questions for homework. This sounds reasonable until you realize that each question has parts a-f in it. This adds up to 150 questions. When I asked her about it, she said quite submissively “Oh, it should only take you 10 minutes maximum.” 10 minutes?!? Maybe it would take her 10 minutes to answer 150 questions, but it didn’t for me. One hour in and I still had 40 more to go.
My mom is a teacher, but she is on my side. If and when she assigns homework, it isn’t a lot, and she makes sure that her students understand that after they have worked solidly on it for 30 minutes, they can stop, no matter how much they have done, without a huge detriment to their grade, so long as their parents have confirmed it.
High school has been a disaster for me so far. I envy those people who seem to take the copious amounts of work in their stride. I don’t have time for my family, for friends, for reading (which I love), and for art, one of my most favorite things in the world. I have had to give up all of my free time and it is driving me crazy.
I can’t wait to get out of this mess.
November 7th, 2011 at 8:48 am
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Student above, thank you for taking the time to spell it out for us.Readers here, please take this student’s essay to heart. It is extremely typical of A Day in the Life of my daughter’s high school. Add to that mix the student who works that hard and does NOT get straight A’s. Not because they aren’t smart, to wit, they are in fact, highly gifted. But they are twice exceptional and the school does not offer accommodations. The best she could get, after many meetings and a pricey consultant, is an extra day to turn things in. Doesn’t help the matter, just exacerbates the anxiety and stress.
The student above is not exaggerating. I urge every teacher to read carefully what this student wrote. And this goes for parents as well who believe that working kids to death prepares them for life. It only prepares them for exhaustion, burnout and depression.
If we made adults work this hard, there would be a riot. There is NO adult reading this site who works as hard as the student above. She is not exaggerating. My daughter attended a high achieving high school. If I needed to meet with my daughter (bring her something, talk to her about something time sensitive), I dropped by at lunch. I’d watch these teenagers stagger down the hallway. They were bleary eyed from serious sleep deprivation and weighted down with overstuffed backpacks. My heart just broke, watching them.
It’s not that these kids didn’t like their school. They were hardworking, smart, earnest, aimed to please. They wanted to be in an environment with other like minded serious learners. Rather than celebrate this unique vibrant place of learning, adults in their midst merely took advantage of their commitment.
I’m still puzzled why, to administrators and so-called educators, gifted education means, let’s occupy every second of their time and encroach seriously on their sleep. Not a single gifted organization supports this misguided and extremely dangerous approach.
November 7th, 2011 at 9:51 am
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In Middle School, I was a perfectionist. I got straight As and enough sleep, but I had lost my yearning to learn. I had no social life, was always anxious, and developed a sleeping problem. Instead of learning, I memorized. I got awards for being such a good student, and that pushed me to be even harder on myself. When summers came, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was afraid to let myself go and be happy because I felt that that would somehow make me not serious about school. The summer going into Freshman year of high school, it dawned on me that if I keep my perfectionism up, I will end up going to an amazing college and being miserable. I learned how to be happy, relax, and act like the kid I was. As soon as high school started I stopped trying to be perfect. I joined clubs, sports teams, made great friends, and got good grades. Although my grades weren’t as good as before, I was happy and healthy. I have stopped trying to fit into what colleges want, but rather be myself and explore the colleges that fit me. Today I am a happy sophomore. I learn, relax, sleep, eat, excersize, and laugh everyday. I am the Vice President of my class, almost always make honor roll, and an avid skiier. I do this because I want to, and not because I think it will look good on my college transcripts. It’s good to be high-achieving, but not when you make it your life. The point in life is to balance and combine success and happiness. Never focus too much on one thing. Balancing school, extra activities, social life, and family is key. Most of my understanding of how to be a strong, happy, smart teenager goes to a book I HIGHLY recommend, “The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Make.” It saved my life.
December 1st, 2011 at 10:32 pm
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Man. Junior year in high school is crappy. I found ways to survive my last two years by simply doing my assignments. Now, I am required to complete assignments and study like a crazy person. It sucks. I feel so lost in school. Worrying about getting into college scares me to death. I’m really freaked out. Teachers assign too much homework and it is not interesting whatsoever. Fudge. I am so frustrated, I don’t even know what to do.
December 5th, 2011 at 12:10 am
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Have you ever heard of the IB program? You might want to include it in your research! I’m in IB and it sounds exactly as you describe. My history teacher does the same as yours except his class is all about group work. He doesn’t really teach us anything. Anyways, the workload is ridiculous and I often don’t go to bed until 10 at the earliest 12 at the latest, and that’s really good. A lot of my friends don’t sleep until 1 or 2 and we all wake up around 5/6am. So that really takes a toll on your health and memory. I always feel like, no matter if i finish the homework for that day, there is more and more I can do, like an endless supply. I hope everything goes well with you and wish you luck!
January 3rd, 2012 at 3:03 am
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My daughter was thinking of a full IB degree when she was in 8th grade, the lone year we homeschooled. She got into a selective magnet for high school and the school’s college level offerings were AP, not IB. I am so glad she didn’t do IB, in the end. After researching the program and talking to kids (not the parents, the children), I came away with a distinct dislike of the curriculum.
I’m all for inquiry, analysis, creativity, stretching the mind. I’m a strong advocate on meeting children where they are, and if they are gifted, they should be given room to grow and expand. But the IB strikes me as just one long grind. Very industrious but how much is truly gained in the end?
We now know a great deal about severe sleep deprivation’s toll on learning but it’s memory and retention we should be really worried about. If you don’t commit all that cramming to memory, in the end, you’ve barely learned a thing.
January 3rd, 2012 at 4:19 pm
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I completely agree with you homeworkblues. I mean, I not even in the IB program yet. Only juniors and seniors can be in the IB program, sophomores and under get put into the MYP program and must complete that before moving onto IB. I’m a freshman, and I honestly agree that, with all of the tests the IB teachers are conducting on a wide variety of subjects, we will have to cram at one point or learn to cram every time. A lot of people say IB just teaches you how to “BS” your work, which is ludacris.
In addition, I’ve heard that IB really only looks good on a college application if you apply to a college in the west coast, since the east is more familiar with AP.
I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I am not going to do full IB. I will probably do associates, which is only testing in 4 IB subjects. it’s still a lot though.
The only teacher I absolutely love is my English teacher. He is without a doubt one of the most relatable and fun teachers I’ve ever had, and due to the style of his teaching, I’ve gained so much knowledge. We need more teachers like him, who honestly care for their students.
January 5th, 2012 at 10:35 pm
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i’m a middle school student and I have about 3-4 hours of homework a night.
I get up early to go to band and chours and stay at school two hours after for drama. I also have CCD on wednesday, this year I am making my confermation which means essays wich I have no time for.
Appartently in my district 8th grade has more hw then 9th.
My social life is quickly deteriorating.
I’m lucky and somehow manage to do something on weekends.
The real problum is that all teachers think of themselves, “it’ll take you twenty minutes” they say. It take me about 30, but 30 minutes from seven teachers adds up.
it says that we Americans have the writes to life, liberty, and the prasute of happyness. I’m not happy, my freedom is gone the teachers control that (not even my own parents!), and there is more to life than just surviving, I want to live not just hang on.
a 13 year old should not feel stressed the way I do. i’m a kid, and I want to have my childhood back. Thats why i’m making a petition with my friend, and using hw as my topic for writing.
January 23rd, 2012 at 9:53 am
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Hi Emma,
I’m so glad to hear that you and your friend are making a petition and also writing about homework. When my son was in 8th grade, he also circulated a petition among his classmates and, as a result, the school met with the students and they had a chance to talk about the impact homework had on their lives. They even got some reduction in the homework load.
I hope you have the same success.
And, in the meantime, have you asked your parents to talk to your teachers or the school? You should not have to be in this alone.
Good luck and thanks for writing here. Come back again and let us know how everything is working out.
January 23rd, 2012 at 12:15 pm
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