Guest Blog­ger: First Grade in Pub­lic School Was Pure Torture

Today’s guest blog­ger, Tracy Stevens, is a for­mer high school Span­ish teacher who infre­quently gave project-based home­work to her stu­dents. Cur­rently a tele­com sales­per­son and the mother of two boys who attend pri­vate school after a dif­fi­cult year in pub­lic ele­men­tary school, she is the author of abettereducation.blog, which is full of inter­est­ing inter­views (includ­ing one with Daniel Pink) and thoughts. Today she writes about her son’s expe­ri­ence in first grade in pub­lic school and her deci­sion to have her son repeat first grade in a more child-friendly atmosphere.

First Grade in Pub­lic School was Pure Tor­ture
by Tracy Stevens

My son was born in August and attended a Montes­sori Pre-School since he was 1−1÷2. When it came time to con­sider 1st Grade, we met with his teacher and the head of school and we felt that, despite being one of the younger kids, he was socially and aca­d­e­m­i­cally ready to han­dle the rig­ors of pub­lic school, espe­cially in the pub­lic Montes­sori Ele­men­tary School that we found for him, where he would expe­ri­ence a famil­iar class­room and learn­ing system.

It was a year of pure tor­ture for the entire fam­ily. The teacher encour­aged read­ing through com­pe­ti­tion. Each kid had a ther­mome­ter that showed his level of read­ing. If you were a girl or an older child, your ther­mome­ter was pretty full. My son’s low ther­mome­ter was humil­i­at­ing for him, and was also a marker of his con­fi­dence and curios­ity as the year pro­gressed.

Because he wasn’t up to the read­ing level that was stip­u­lated for that grade, the teacher’s way of rem­e­dy­ing the prob­lem was to pro­vide more home­work. Each 1st Grader had at least an hour of math and read­ing home­work every night. My son strug­gled with his and this hour would turn into longer to get it fin­ished. If he were not fin­ished with his school­work to his teacher’s sat­is­fac­tion, he would stay in for recess to fin­ish it. He also had a tutor dur­ing after­school care that would help him with his home­work. This boy was in school from 8:00 in the morn­ing until 5:30 in the evening, some­times with lim­ited or no recess and lit­tle play time left in after care. Then he would have at least an hour of home­work at night. Where was the bal­ance in his life? Where was the time for play, move­ment, cre­ativ­ity, social­iz­ing, and fam­ily time? We began to make it a point to pro­vide this for him, regard­less of what was required by the school. At first we had him do no more than 15 min­utes of home­work each evening. Soon, though, we just stopped com­ply­ing with the home­work man­date all together. It was caus­ing mis­ery, frus­tra­tion, and daily cry­ing sessions.

We decided to repeat 1st Grade, this time in a Wal­dorf school and the expe­ri­ence could not be more dif­fer­ent. Wal­dorf doesn’t believe in home­work until the 3rd grade and even then that is only a brief time for a musi­cal instru­ment. They have a much more grad­ual approach to read­ing, in that they do not expect stu­dents to begin read­ing on their own until 3rd Grade. When they do read, they have had years of prepa­ra­tion and famil­iar­ity with let­ters, phon­ics, com­pre­hen­sion, and other read­ing skills so that it seems to be a nat­ural, easy thing for them to do. There is no stan­dard­ized test­ing at a Wal­dorf school, so the pres­sure to quickly get stu­dents up to test­ing level is elim­i­nated, allow­ing them to learn at a pace that is suited to their needs. Wal­dorf believes in bal­ance and regards edu­ca­tion of the head, heart and hands of equal importance.

My son is happy again. Gone are the home­work bat­tles and daily tears over it. His con­fi­dence is restored and he is gen­uinely enjoy­ing learn­ing new things again.

25 Comments on “Guest Blog­ger: First Grade in Pub­lic School Was Pure Torture”

  1. PsychMom says:

    I book­marked that blog in a heart­beat. It’s so reas­sur­ing to know that there are par­ents who are stand­ing up to this non­sense. Her son is likely able to learn now because he’s not tied up in emo­tional knots all day long. Thanks for intro­duc­ing Tracy!

    April 28th, 2009 at 8:33 am
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  2. miriam says:

    ?
    I thought montes­sori didn’t go into that non­sense… of course, then I saw the “pub­lic” descrip­tor and it all became clear.

    April 28th, 2009 at 8:37 am
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  3. Max Roswell says:

    I sym­pa­thize with hav­ing an over­loaded first-grader. I just wish I had the kind of money that Montessori/Waldorf schools cost. An excel­lent solu­tion for those who can afford it.

    April 28th, 2009 at 10:22 am
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  4. Tracy Stevens says:

    I com­pletely agree with you, Max. Pri­vate school is not some­thing I antic­i­pated to say the least. While I am happy I can afford to give my kids this kind of edu­ca­tion at this time, I think it is totally wrong that my fam­ily can have that kind of edu­ca­tion and oth­ers can­not. I have made efforts in the last few months to open a char­ter school using the Wal­dorf model but I stum­ble into the stan­dard­ized test­ing machine that dri­ves every­thing from cur­ricu­lum to recess sched­ules and it seems to negate any good I might do so I have put those aspi­ra­tions on hold for now. I am not sure what to do with my frus­tra­tion and pas­sion at this point, beyond writ­ing about it.

    April 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am
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  5. Anonymous says:

    It sounds like a mis­er­able expe­ri­ence, no doubt, and I’m glad you found a bet­ter envi­ron­ment. Keep in mind that it varies widely from school to school, and teach to teacher. In other words, I don’t think it is a pub­lic ver­sus pri­vate school issue. We love our com­mu­nity pub­lic school. And it also has a gen­eral prac­tice of hold­ing off on home­work until 3rd grade. I urge par­ents to care­fully research all options and, if pos­si­ble (and it sounds like it wasn’t in your sit­u­a­tion Tracy), invest in mak­ing your com­mu­nity pub­lic school the best it can be for all kids. As a pub­lic school fam­ily, stan­dard­ized test­ing is the only pill I feel we have to reluc­tantly swal­low and it remains to be seen (my kids aren’t old enough yet) how that will change my opin­ion! Thanks for shar­ing your expe­ri­ence Tracy!

    April 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
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  6. Diane says:

    I totally sym­pa­thise! We had a very sim­i­lar expe­ri­ence. We man­aged only half-way through 2nd Grade before mov­ing our son to a pro­gres­sive, demo­c­ra­tic, com­mu­nity school … which he loves!

    In the doc­u­men­tary film that Sara col­lab­o­rated on (“Slip­ping Behind”), a woman states that she fully expects this gen­er­a­tion of chil­dren to sue the adults of today over the com­plete loss of their child­hood … We need to stop the mad­ness some­how … any ideas?

    April 28th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
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  7. PsychMom says:

    To Diane:

    I might be naive, but I think all it takes is for par­ents to take respon­si­bil­ity for being par­ents. Par­ent­hood is a role that must be taken seri­ously if our chil­dren are to be pro­tected from schools, from adver­tiz­ing and mass media and all the myr­iad “adult world” things they are exposed to. It is NOT a parent’s role to pre­pare small chil­dren for the adult world. We need to pro­tect them from it. It’s just my opin­ion, but I con­sider home­work an adult activ­ity. Eigh­teen year olds who attend higher learn­ing facil­i­ties study. They need too. In some cases they get 3 hours of class time a week in col­lege or uni­ver­sity on a cer­tain topic, and they need to sup­ple­ment that with pri­vate study. The same does not apply to ele­men­tary school.

    My way of think­ing about kids is akin to start­ing plants indoors in the spring. Pouches on kan­ga­roos, dens where baby bears, wolves, rab­bits and many other crea­tures spend the first few weeks and months of their lives are all sim­i­lar ideas. We are sup­posed to pro­tect our young to keep them from mor­tal dan­gers, cre­at­ing space for them that nur­tures and stim­u­lates them. School in the human world is sup­posed to be one of those nur­tur­ing places. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for free-range kids…but I’m not for expo­sure to adult stress and pressure.

    April 29th, 2009 at 8:18 am
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  8. Anonymous says:

    math home work

    June 6th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
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  9. June says:

    Where was the bal­ance in his life? Where was the time for play, move­ment, cre­ativ­ity, social­iz­ing, and fam­ily time?

    Where? Well, from what your blog reads; “This boy was in school from 8:00 in the morn­ing until 5:30 in the evening, some­times with lim­ited or no recess and lit­tle play time left in after care.“
    Keep­ing your young child at school until 5:30 every day is ridicu­lous! Most chil­dren are out of school at 2:45 or 3:00 with TIME for play, move­ment, cre­ativ­ity, social­iz­ing, and fam­ily time AND HOMEWORK. After a long day like that I would be exhausted too and wouldn’t have any steam left to com­plete home­work well. Most chil­dren (that I know) have a good 5 hours between school let­ting out and bed­time. Your child has 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Just eat­ing din­ner, tak­ing a bath and doing his home­work would use up all the time he has.

    Please con­sider adjust­ing YOUR sched­ule to spend more time with your over­taxed child.

    June 10th, 2009 at 3:44 am
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  10. PsychMom says:

    To June:

    An 8 to 5 day is the rule for most chil­dren today because most par­ents work. I’m for­tu­nate to have my child at a school that has an after­school pro­gram right in the school, so she gets play­time out­doors after 3:15 until I pick her up at 4:45 or so. Ours is a sin­gle income earn­ing family…I have no choice. Believe me, since the day I first dropped her off at day­care when she was 22 months old, I have been ter­ri­bly aware that she will always have a longer day at “work” than me. That’s why I’m on this site.….so that I can find a way so that I don’t have to deal with school issues when I get home with her.

    I’ve said it before. I see no rea­son why teach­ers and the school should feel they have the RIGHT to decide what the sched­ule should be in my home. I don’t tell them how to run their class­room or their school.

    June 10th, 2009 at 8:46 am
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  11. HomeworkBlues says:

    June writes: After a long day like that I would be exhausted too and wouldn’t have any steam left to com­plete home­work well. Most chil­dren (that I know) have a good 5 hours between school let­ting out and bed­time. Your child has 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Just eat­ing din­ner, tak­ing a bath and doing his home­work would use up all the time he has.

    Please con­sider adjust­ing YOUR sched­ule to spend more time with your over­taxed child.

    »»»»»»»»»»»»»»

    Oh, I see. It is so impor­tant to have time for home­work in ele­men­tary, despite good research to the con­trary, that mom must adjust her sched­ule so she can pull a sec­ond shift. As unpaid home teacher. Mom com­plains child is exhausted from a long day at school and no recess. Mom’s fault!. You insist she should work part time to make more time for her child. But she’s try­ing to tell you that with­out home­work, she WOULD have time left over for her child all evening.

    To echo Psy­ch­Mom, it is ter­ri­bly con­de­scend­ing for the school to dic­tate every wak­ing moment of a family’s life, even sug­gest­ing a work­ing mother adjust her sched­ule! Does it occur to you this mother may not be able to? Many par­ents would if they could. Many moms are sin­gle and must work to put food on the table.

    Can you imag­ine what chutzpa? Think of all the days your child comes home and tells you they watched videos in school all day. It’s our tax dol­lars yet we par­ents are not allowed to scru­ti­nize what goes on in school all day. We aren’t even allowed in the class­room to observe for our­selves. But it’s okay to tell a mother who has put in a full day’s work already that her first pri­or­ity is to make sure all the home­work gets done. To make up for all the time frit­tered away while the child spent seven hours at school. The teacher gets paid, the fam­ily does the work. I ask again, just who is the greater fool?

    You go on to say: “Most chil­dren are out of school at 2:45 or 3:00 with TIME for play, move­ment, cre­ativ­ity, social­iz­ing, and fam­ily time AND HOMEWORK.”

    June, I was and am that mom who was home in the after­noon. My daugh­ter was not in after­care. And I can tell you, June, once my daugh­ter got to pub­lic school, she did NOT have time for “play, move­ment, cre­ativ­ity, social­iz­ing, and fam­ily time AND HOMEWORK.” Get real. No child does and still makes it to bed on time. Home­work ate up every minute. We often threw cau­tion to the wind and went out and played. But then the home­work didn’t get done.

    Rather than jus­tify home­work, accept the fact that this mother can­not pick up her child until 5:30. When she does, she wants all of him, all after­noon and evening. Because with no ele­men­tary home­work, she will surely have time for “play, move­ment, cre­ativ­ity, social­iz­ing, and fam­ily time AND (NO) HOMEWORK.

    June 10th, 2009 at 9:45 am
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  12. June says:

    Okay I do see valid points from both Home­work­Blues and Psy­ch­Mom.
    But, Home­work­Blues do you really feel that help­ing your child with their home­work is “pulling a sec­ond shift’? I won­der how that makes your child feel? Speak­ing of the feel­ings of the chil­dren. How do they feel in the class­room when it’s time to turn in their home­work and they have none or it’s uncom­pleted? I think these lit­tle guys and girls are in an awful spot.

    I stum­bled across this site and found it really inter­est­ing and alarm­ing that so many peo­ple are going through this. I can­not speak from expe­ri­ence here, so bear with me. I am a stay at home mom of a 3 year old boy. I am very four­tu­nate to have a hus­band that hap­pily pro­vides for me to stay at home with our son. We have not and are not going to put him in preschool prior to kinder­garten. Another sub­ject of course, the data just did not hold up for pre/k being at all ben­e­fi­cial and pos­si­bly detremen­tal for kids, espe­cially boys. If any­one is inter­ested in that sub­ject here is a great site http://​www​.uni​ver​sal​preschool​.com
    Back on sub­ject– So please fill me in on what my fam­ily is get­ting into with the school years approaching!HomeworkBlues, even though you are able to be home after school with your child there still isn’t enough time to com­plete the home­work? Obvi­ously there is WAY too much! The other chil­dren in the class must be expe­ri­enc­ing the same prob­lems. I intially thought that it was obvi­ous that the prob­lem was not enough time with the late pick up, but clearly that is not true from what you have said.
    What is going on here??

    June 10th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
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  13. HomeworkBlues says:

    June asks: ” But, Home­work­Blues do you really feel that help­ing your child with their home­work is “pulling a sec­ond shift’? I won­der how that makes your child feel?”

    Oh, please, June. I don’t “help” her with her home­work. Her smarts make me look aver­age. It’s not about “help­ing” her. It’s about a child who would come home from a gifted pro­gram in ele­men­tary with a back­pack stuffed full of hours and hours and hours of home­work. And as for “help­ing” her, Alfie Kohn writes in “The Home­work Myth” that kids often come home with assign­ments that par­ents with grad­u­ate degrees can­not fig­ure out. We aren’t talk­ing about “help­ing” a job. We are talk­ing about par­ents being invol­un­tary unpaid teach­ers to their own children.

    Please, June. It’s not about “help­ing” her. School can’t pull that old canard on me, I’m too smart and been around the block a lit­tle too long.

    How does that make my child feel? Not sure what you mean, given that we are incred­i­bly involved, dot­ing and com­mit­ted par­ents. Given that we were so involved and did help when she needed it, and found our­selves home­school­ing after school, we even­tu­ally made it offi­cial and pulled her out of school alto­gether for one year. If she was doing all her work after school rather than dur­ing school, why was I send­ing her? I don’t mind teach­ing her! But then I get to call the shots. I don’t want to be mid­dle man­ager. If that much level of involve­ment is expected of me, then I need to be put on the school’s payroll.

    I read a thought pro­vok­ing blog yes­ter­day how sub­ur­ban schools with very high test scores often offer mediocre edu­ca­tion but that afflu­ent par­ents are expected to do it all, help with the home­work, make sure it gets done, and be expected to hire tutors when nec­es­sary. Because afflu­ent sub­ur­ban par­ents will pull out all the stops, those mediocre schools with the high test scores coast on their so– called “excellence.”

    But the par­ents are doing all the work! And as long as those par­ents believe the likes of June, who make them feel guilty for notic­ing the Emperor has No Clothes, schools can brag about those high scores and pull the wool over their eyes.

    June, I paid my dues. I have noth­ing to feel guilty about.

    June 10th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
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  14. High School Soph--oh wait I'm a junior now I guess says:

    Hey June,
    Just wanted to com­ment on the ‘how do the kids feel when it comes time to turn in their home­work and they have none or uncom­pleted?’ Per­son­ally, I think my ele­men­tary school had a rea­son­able amount of home­work (lots of mine was late but that’s because I’m par­tic­u­larly bad at time man­age­ment), so I can’t exactly speak to the level of edu­ca­tion which your son will be enter­ing, but I do think my cur­rent high school has too much home­work (it’s a pretty over­achiev­ing atmos­phere in gen­eral, although the teach­ers are really excel­lent IMHO).

    As some­one who still has prob­lems with time man­age­ment (although I have improved some since my elementary/middle school days,) in addi­tion to what I con­sider to be too much home­work, I have on many occa­sions come to school with home­work incom­plete and faced basi­cally the same sit­u­a­tion you were ask­ing about. Per­son­ally, when it’s 10:30 at night and I’m get­ting nowhere on, say, a draft of an essay that’s due the next day, I am the sort of per­son who chooses to take care of myself, be awake and ready to learn in class the next day, and go to bed with­out fin­ish­ing. I know many peo­ple who stay up insane hours, and indeed don’t get as many assign­ments late as I do.
    It isn’t fun com­ing in the next day with­out that next draft, or sheet of chem­istry prob­lems, or what have you. I feel kinda like I’ve let the teachers/myself down, often, but I think that it’s more impor­tant to take care of myself and face that the next day, to get my sleep and eat din­ner and go up the next day and say ‘look, teacher, I worked on your assignment/I had bas­ket­ball until really late and there just wasn’t enough time to fin­ish all I had to do, and it was 11:00 and I just went to bed. I think its more impor­tant for me to be awake dur­ing class than to get every­thing in exactly on time when push comes to shove. I’m work­ing on being more effi­cient at using my time, and I still have more to go.‘
    In that same vein, I think know­ing that you did the right thing by yourself/your kid, went to a museum, had a great dis­cus­sion, got sleep, went to sister’s birth­day din­ner, kinda bal­ances out the embar­rass­ment of not hav­ing fin­ished home­work. Espe­cially if the fam­ily has a clear expec­ta­tion with the school like ‘I don’t allow my 3rd grader to spend more than 45 min­utes on home­work a night,’ I think the embar­rass­ment would get less and less over time, since it becomes less of a ‘why didn’t you do this?’ when the pol­icy for that fam­ily has been clear and con­sis­tent.
    Good luck with school com­ing up in the next few years, hope you get a good one! ;)

    –High School Ris­ing Junior

    June 10th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
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  15. FedUpMom says:

    Home­work Blues — could you post a link to the inter­est­ing blog you read? I agree with it already! The schools in our dis­trict are con­stantly crow­ing about the high scores that really have noth­ing to do with the teach­ing they provide.

    June 10th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
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  16. PsychMom says:

    To the High­School Soph.…it dri­ves me nuts when kids say they have poor time man­age­ment skills. And then you spec­i­fied to say that now your time-management skills are bet­ter now than they were in ele­men­tary. This non­sense about time man­age­ment skills has been fed to you and a whole gen­er­a­tion as being a cri­te­ria you’re sup­posed to be able to achieve through dili­gent schooling.

    Well, as the reg­u­lars to this site know…I have strong feel­ings about this topic, to put it mildly. And to June, the Mom of the three year old, you need to know this too.
    Chil­dren don’t have time man­age­ment skills.….and they won’t until they are close to the end of high school. Adults in col­lege or uni­ver­sity can prop­erly be expected to have “good” time man­age­ment skills…anyone below that age with these skills are doing very well.

    Being able to plan and orga­nize our­selves is a higher brain func­tion that is largely gov­erned by the front parts of our brains, called the frontal lobes. It’s not some­thing that can be trained for, it’s not some­thing that’s going to get bet­ter from the begin­ning of Grade 3 to the end of Grade 3…it’s a mat­u­ra­tional devel­op­ment that goes at it’s own pace and is dif­fer­ent in every­one. Sim­i­lar to devel­op­ing the abil­ity to walk or talk or using the toi­let, we grow into the abil­ity to under­stand time and plan our activ­i­ties. That’s why human beings have to be par­ented for so long.…we need our par­ents’ (hope­fully) fully func­tion­ing frontal lobes to keep us safe from dan­ger and to be able to plan for and acquire food for us. And yes, there are boys and girls out there who have these skills early in life.…you’ll always have excep­tions. But that’s what they are…exceptional. It sounds like those excep­tional kids get pun­ished in school by being over­loaded with work because some­one thinks more is better.

    Time man­age­ment abil­ity is not some­thing that should ever be eval­u­ated in young kids…and if you’re strug­gling with it, well yes, you should be because it’s hard to do. And maybe that’s why we par­ents feel so over­loaded. Our lives are sched­uled so much as it is…and when a teacher then wants to dump more on our lives, we reject it because it takes away from our pri­or­i­ties, which are the love and care of our children.

    Would some­one please pull me off of my soap­box now.…I could go on all day.

    June 11th, 2009 at 7:59 am
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  17. HomeworkBlues says:

    FedUp­Mom, ask and you shall receive! My county (we don’t have dis­tricts, like PA, it’s a county-wide sys­tem) crows too. They have some mantra about being a world class insti­tu­tion, com­mit­ted to excel­lence. Excel­lence. That edu-buzz word, right along with RIGOR! I would mut­ter to myself that rigor is code for, oops, I for­got to get any­thing done today, I think I’ll send it all home to the parents.

    From Kitchen Table Math:

    “Par­ents and school boards in afflu­ent com­mu­ni­ties may not want to hear that the teach­ing in their schools is mediocre. The account­abil­ity sys­tem does not call
    atten­tion to the prob­lems of instruc­tional qual­ity in these schools, nor does it rein­force efforts to solve them. Unlike low-performing schools, which may be gal­va­nized by exter­nal pres­sure to improve, so-called high-performing schools must often swim against a tide of com­pla­cency to gen­er­ate sup­port for change.”

    Thought pro­vok­ing stuff. And here’s a com­ment to the post:

    “I live in an afflu­ent, high-standardized-test-scoring school dis­trict. Some of the obser­va­tions made here (e.g. per­va­sive use of pri­vate tutor­ing, learn­ing prob­lems often pushed onto par­ents) absolutely describe our dis­trict. Oppo­si­tion is likely to be fierce from all sides to any change that might threaten the all-important (for neigh­bor­hood rep­u­ta­tion and prop­erty val­ues) test scores.”

    http://​kitchentablemath​.blogspot​.com/​2​0​0​9​/​0​6​/​a​l​t​e​r​n​a​t​e​-​u​n​i​v​e​r​s​e​.​h​tml

    To add, I got this Kitchen Table Math from a blog I dis­cov­ered, and she linked to it. She makes the same argu­ment I do; if it’s all sent home, why am I send­ing her to school? May as well home­school! And so she does:

    http://​bend​ing​th​etwigs​.blogspot​.com/

    To June: I appre­ci­ate the rest of your post as you are start­ing to ask prob­ing ques­tions. Now you get a feel of what we are fight­ing for. We want excel­lence too. We just don’t want it all com­ing home, to us account­abil­ity means, just what did you do in school today, not, how high can you go? To us test prep does not count as “good use of time.”

    June 11th, 2009 at 8:06 am
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  18. HomeworkBlues says:

    Psy­ch­Mom, DO NOT pull your­self off your soap­box. We have new­com­ers to this blog all the time and although it would be nice if every­one did their research first, their “home­work,” if you will, many do not.

    Keep edu­cat­ing. Keep talk­ing. Oth­er­wise, new­com­ers think we are all just a bunch of spoiled lazy whiners.

    June 11th, 2009 at 8:09 am
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  19. PsychMom says:

    Thanks HWB– It’s when the kids write in about their crazy lives and the words they use…the expec­ta­tions of them are so wrong. I just can’t keep my fin­gers from the keyboard.

    High­school Soph…keep look­ing after your­self. It is far wiser to sleep and eat than it is to be sleep deprived and nutri­tion­ally com­pro­mised. Young brains need food and rest and they suf­fer if they don’t get either one or both on a con­sis­tent basis.

    June 11th, 2009 at 9:57 am
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  20. HomeworkBlues says:

    High School Soph/Junior: I want to sec­ond PsychMom’s advice to you (we should have a meet­ing and get to know each other so we don’t have to call each other High School Soph, Psy­ch­Mom, Fedup­Mom and Home­work­Blues! I need a new moniker and am about to change it but that would only con­fuse every­one even more).

    My daugh­ter is a year older than you, also in a very high achiev­ing demand­ing school. Believe me, I know all about those late nights. When I was in high school, an all nighter was such a rar­ity, I only remem­bere doing it about twice. And I prob­a­bly have some form of ADD! My mother was very strict about bed­time, we had to be in bed at 9pm, no excep­tions. To this day, I thank her for that. Once when I stayed up all night, I prayed she would not awaken and see me burn­ing the post-midnight oil.

    But those late nights were rare. That night, I was deep in flow, craft­ing a mas­ter­piece and I remem­ber how thrilled I was the next morn­ing that I’d fin­ished it. I went to school and don’t know how I got through it, the entire day was a blur. When I came home, I crashed. I went straight to bed and slept till the morning.

    These days when a child (yes, you’re still a child) stays up till around 2:30, she has to pull off that feat yet again the very next night. The mes­sage? You’re tired? No excuses. So much for car­ing com­pas­sion­ate schools, con­cerned about the health and well being of children.

    My duaghter doesn’t get to come home and crash. Which is why I hate this sleep depri­va­tion and we deal with it all the time. At my daughter’s school, the kids who can make it are the ones who are able to take a nap when they come home. My daugh­ter is not a nap­per, she just can’t will her body to do it. She can stag­ger through the week on five hours sleep (I don’t allow these late nights but she also has trou­ble falling asleep) and still not be able to nap when she comes home. So suc­cess at this school hinges not on your intel­lec­tual capa­bil­ity but…whether you can nap! Sur­vival the fittest. The Japan­ese have refined this nap on demand to a fine art. I hosted a Japan­ese stu­dent and the minute the metro­rail began mov­ing, they all checked out.

    My daugh­ter walks through the door, look­ing tired and list­less and some days she attacks her home­work with a kind of grim resolve. Like you, Soph, she likes her school and many of her teach­ers. But we talk about sleep depri­va­tion all the time. I am the mother who says, you have done enough, you are going to bed. I’m sorry to say I’m in the minor­ity at that school.

    Soph, you are mak­ing the right deci­sion. Yes, we know many stu­dents who will stay up until every last drop of home­work is com­pleted. This tends to be more girls than boys, prob­a­bly because girls are still social­ized to be com­pli­ant good lit­tle girls, vying for the teacher’s pet role.

    But as you know, Soph, when you stag­ger into school on lit­tle sleep, you will derive very lit­tle from your school day. Think of how much more sat­is­fy­ing your life would be if you were fully rested, each and every day of school!

    And research now tells us that if you only get five hours sleep, you may as well flush every­thing you learned ear­lier that day. We used to think it was the oppo­site, that your next day is shot. It is of course but we now know (famous Tetrus study) that if you go to school on a Mon­day, say, and then get five or less hours of sleep that night, you will not retain any­thing you learned ear­lier that day. And your Tues­day will still be shot. That is because you are ris­ing dur­ing your deep REM sleep and it is in REM sleep that we con­sol­i­date infor­ma­tion and com­mit learn­ing to mem­ory. If you can’t remem­ber it, you really haven’t learned it. This must be why so many stu­dents spend hours cram­ming for tests. They sim­ply do not recall what they learned the first time they read it.

    Fur­ther­more, there is tremen­dous brain growth in the teen years. More sober­ing research and it just con­firms the obvi­ous. Teens need more sleep because of rapid brain growth. You sleep less, you com­pro­mise that growth. We know that when we are sleep deprived, our IQs drop. We are sim­ply less smart, less alert, less effi­cient. We’ve always been led to believe those effects are tem­po­rary and our nor­mal IQ comes back after we’ve got­ten the sleep we need. In teens, that effect is per­ma­nent. Sleep depri­va­tion equals dimin­ished IQ. Per­ma­nently. Hyper-competitive baby boomer moms, take THAT to the bank!

    June 11th, 2009 at 10:20 am
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  21. High School Soph--oh wait I'm a junior now I guess says:

    THANK YOU! I’m glad some other peo­ple believe in sleep too!!!! I was get­ting a lit­tle wor­ried it was just me ;) Psy­ch­Mom, thanks too…I think maybe we do go a lit­tle over­board with time man­age­ment expec­ta­tions (at my school we like to say that if you never do any­thing after school and never get sick and like wak­ing up early the amount of home­work is per­fect!) but for me personally…I dunno, I gen­er­ally see myself as a lit­tle behind the curve – which isn’t a bad thing nec­es­sar­ily, so long as I take steps to get bet­ter. It’s when I can feel myself pro­cras­ti­nat­ing or tak­ing for­ever on some­thing that I can SEE could be so much eas­ier if only I could get myself to work/work effi­ciently…
    Any­way, about the sleep issue, some­thing from my own school:

    At my school they just did an SOS (stressed out students/challenge suc­cess) sur­vey (shows they’re try­ing to change – yay) and our dean of stu­dents was being like, wow, we’re awe­some, we get more sleep and have fewer checked-out stu­dents than the aver­age! Woo hoo! And then you look at the numbers…yeah, we get more sleep – by seven min­utes! And the school aver­age is still some­thing like 6 and three-quarters hours, when rec­om­mended is nine and I still feel like I need nine and a half or more to really be in top form. And yeah, we have fewer checked out kids, but we still have enough to fill an entire grade. “Only” one quar­ter of the school checked out or totally dis­en­gaged is NOT some­thing we should be cel­e­brat­ing! And then the let­ter they sent out to the par­ents I think pushed beyond pre­sent­ing ‘shiny side of the apple out’ into sub­sti­tut­ing a plas­tic apple when they thought no one was look­ing. It is true though that we have some pretty seri­ously hyper par­ents at my school (who all seem to be the ones who can write the biggest checks i.e. the ones that the school doesn’t want to make upset) and I can sort of see why they would rush to reas­sure them, esp. dur­ing eco­nomic down­turn etc., but there are plenty of sen­si­ble par­ents too who are going to look at this and not really get the full pic­ture, in my opin­ion. Sure, they had a par­ent cof­fee where they could come and see the data, but dur­ing the mid­dle of the day when work­ing par­ents wouldn’t be avail­able, in a really small room with space for like 20 peo­ple, and hardly adver­tised it at all to the com­mu­nity. I know my school really does want less stressed and more engaged kids (the admins really are good peo­ple, just I think a lit­tle too ready to con­grat­u­late themselves/rest on lau­rels) and I’m really glad they took the sur­vey, but…jeez. Now lets DO some­thing about it, not just be happy we’re mar­gin­ally above the (abysmal) national average!

    I think all schools should be made to do a sur­vey, get the aver­age student’s day (hours of work/after school com­mit­ments, com­mute time, etc.) and work their home­work assign­ments so that it is indeed pos­si­ble for a kid to get at least the rec­om­mended 9 hours of sleep a night. And when I say work the assign­ments, I don’t mean, if they do the math and it turns out there’s only 2 hours of home­work avail­able time, minus a rea­son­able amount for, like, any­thing the stu­dent might WANT to do with their unstruc­tured time, no giv­ing us an assign­ment that the TEACHER could do in two hours! (I’m begin­ning to think that’s the prob­lem with unre­al­is­tic home­work time expec­ta­tions in ele­men­tary – teach­ers could do it in 35 min­utes, so added 10 min for a mar­gin and called it ’45 min­utes of home­work a night.’

    sorry, now I need to get down off my soapbox! ;)

    June 11th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
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  22. Sara Bennett says:

    Dear High School Soph – oh wait I’m a junior now I guess,

    Thanks for your descrip­tion of how the SOS results were pre­sented. Like you, I believe that schools should be wor­ried when a fair per­cent­age of its con­stituents (students/parents/teachers) is unhappy. If you want to email me pri­vately and let me know the name of your school, I’d be happy to pass along your insights (anony­mously if you’d like) to the founders of Chal­lenge Suc­cess. I’m sure they’d want to know what you have to say.

    As far as the way you’re man­ag­ing your life, con­grat­u­la­tions. You really seem to be well grounded and are mak­ing healthy choices over and over again. I wish more peo­ple would learn from you, stu­dents and adults alike.

    Have a great summer.

    June 11th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
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  23. HomeworkBlues says:

    I echo Sara’s com­ments. And no, please do not get off your soap box :). We need to keep hear­ing from you, we like the win­dow we get from the teen’s perspective.

    June 11th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
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  24. High School Soph--oh wait I'm a junior says:

    Thanks, Sara! Hmm, I actu­ally might take you up on that…I just hope I’m not being too nitpicky/not ‘count-your-blessings-y’ enough.
    I really DO appre­ci­ate how my school is look­ing to improve, and it IS true that we have less turned off stu­dents than the aver­age school does, I don’t want to be mak­ing my school look really bad because they do a lot right. “Over­whelm­ing major­ity” in the par­ent let­ter sug­gests to me a sta­tis­tic less like 75% and more like 89% at least, but I very well might just be pars­ing seman­tics. Seman­tics aside, how­ever, I think just stat­ing that an over­whelm­ing major­ity of our stu­dents are happy and won­der­ful and that we get ‘slightly more sleep than the aver­age’ (is seven min­utes really worth report­ing? That’s like, within stan­dard devi­a­tion) really doesn’t do enough to rally sup­port and energy to do some­thing about the 100 kids in our 400 kid school who are either tuned out com­pletely or feel like they’re run­ning rat races. And the par­ents who AREN’T nuts, of which there are many, deserve clearer infor­ma­tion, I think, and really a kind of call to arms. I don’t mind feel­ing proud of what we’ve accom­plished, but the reac­tion of the school has seemed to be veer­ing a lit­tle into com­pla­cency. Their big, lauded change that they’ve made to the sched­ule has been to make school start 30 min­utes later one day a week, if you don’t have an art class dur­ing 3rd period. Great, awe­some, won­der­ful – just don’t stop there, because you’re not done yet! I guess I’m say­ing that it’s not that I think my school’s hor­ri­ble and a bad place that I want it to change and improve, it’s because I feel like I can see what, with a lit­tle effort and some soul-searching and some diplo­macy, this place could become. My school has done a lot, but it’s still got the kind of Poten­tial that I’d hate to see stuffed back in some cup­board to get dusty.
    Do you think I’m just quib­bling over details, or would my con­cerns really be worth send­ing over to Denise Pope et. al?

    June 13th, 2009 at 2:23 am
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  25. Sara Bennett says:

    Dear High School Soph – oh wait I’m a junior,

    You’re not being too nit-picky, nor are you quib­bling over details. Please send me pri­vately what­ever infor­ma­tion you’d like me to pass on to Denise Pope and I will. I know she would want to hear it, but if I just show her your com­ment and she doesn’t know which school, then she can’t do any­thing about the infor­ma­tion other than be frustrated.

    June 15th, 2009 at 8:08 am
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