Moms (and Dads) on a Mission – Future PTO President Advocates Against Reading Logs (part 1)
Today’s writer, Angie, lives in Utah with her husband and four children. In the Fall, she will be the PTO president at the charter school her children attend. Below, Angie gives a step-by-step accounting of how she raised the issue of reading logs with her Board of Trustees.
How I Brought the Issue of Reading Logs to the Attention of our Board of Trustees
Part 1
by Angie, incoming PTO president, Utah
As next year’s PTO (Parent/Teacher Organization) president, I recently had the opportunity to attend a planning meeting with our Board of Trustees, the PTO presidency, and school administration to plan for next year. The members of our Board of Trustees each have children at the school, work untold hours and receive no compensation. I love our school and feel so blessed to have my children there. The practice of the Reading Log, consequently, has baffled me as it does not seem to fit with the culture or philosophy of the school. I have stated my opinion in the yearly surveys, but the
practice has continued since the school opened several years ago.
I asked for time to address Reading Logs and was given 15 minutes on the agenda. Here is a breakdown of my presentation for those who may find it helpful in addressing their own schools:
I. I began by thanking the board for seeking collaboration with us as a PTO and for giving me time to address this issue. I also told them to please feel free to dismiss my thoughts and observations if they did not find them valid.
II. I expressed my concern that Reading Logs may have unintended consequences with regard to our children’s love of reading now and in the future.
a. I shared my observation that students generally seem to be divided into two categories when it comes to Reading Logs. (As I discussed this, several PTO members piped up with, “Sounds like my house!” and “I don’t like reading logs either.”)
i. One group loves to read and loosely records estimates of their minutes. Parents just sign it because they know their child loves to read and are not worried about them recording the exact amount. Also, to accurately track every minute, would one have to “clock out” for bathroom breaks, snacks, and to answer the door or phone? Could that become cumbersome and affect desire to read?
ii. In the second group are children who do not like to read and their parents must force them to do so. I hear parents describe the struggle of getting their kids to do their reading minutes. One parent described it as “pulling teeth.” Some parents use timers “You need to sit on the couch and read until the timer goes off!” before they can go and do something “fun.”
III. I shared two basic principles of psychology I’ve learned from the parenting program I teach (called Love and Logic): “When there are stressful interactions around an activity, a child will associate the activity with stress.” And, “When we feel like something is forced upon us, we feel a loss of control, and our natural inclination is to resist.” One Dad in one of my classes said, “When I was a child, I could not leave the table until I had eaten all of my peas. To this day, I will not eat peas.”
a. I shared examples of my own children and others that illustrated these principles.
b. I asked, “What is our ultimate goal with reading? Is it merely proficiency or is it a lifetime love of reading and learning?
IV. I reviewed Sarah Pak’s Comment #385 describing her research study of mandatory vs. voluntary reading logs and her findings.
V. I described the study of inner city students who were struggling in reading. All of these students had parents who were illiterate. The parents of the experimental group were asked to pretend to read the newspaper each day for a certain length of time. At the end of the research period the students’ scores in the test group went up.
a. This illustrates the importance of parental modeling in shaping children’s attitudes.
i. (I have heard this study described several times, if someone knows where to find the actual study, please post!!!)
Just to add another category to the two groups of children – one group who loves to read and loosely records estimates of minutes, and the other group who don’t like to read – my 9 year old child loves to read, but finds recording what she reads in a reading log something that eats into her reading time.
Fortunately, her teacher this year has accepted that she’s not participating in the reading log contest (each time you read a certain number of minutes, you get an entry into a contest to win a bicycle). As the teacher says, the contest is there to encourage kids to read, and we don’t seem to need that with my daughter!
June 7th, 2010 at 9:03 am
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So she doesn’t get a chance to win a bike?
June 7th, 2010 at 9:45 am
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I suspect this could be a really good post. But this line, right at the top, stopped me:
“I also told them to please feel free to dismiss my thoughts and observations if they did not find them valid.”
Very humble. Very gracious. But OUCH! No, don’t tell them that! Parents already feel dismissed and their observations disregarded. Don’t give them that opening. I wonder why women always feel they have to “bow and scrape,” to quote FedUpMom, to be liked.
I don’t have a problem with thanking people for their time, being gracious. I’d encourage every speaker to be cordial and cooperative. The world’s a better place when we make nice. But I have seen very capable talented women go before a school board, and begin to undermine their highly eloquent argument by overdoing it on the thanks and let’s all just like each other. A little anger can go a long way.
Yes, be gracious and then, women, mothers, be firm. Find your voice. No need to quite so obsequious.
Some moms here report that they cringe when their husbands, along for a meeting, are too blunt and direct. I’ve been there and cringed too, kicking DH under the table. But notice how you suddenly get more respect afterwards? Never mind that dads are often taken more seriously to begin with.
June 7th, 2010 at 11:18 am
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And now I’ve read the entire post. It’s wonderful. Great points. Kudos to you, Angie.
PsychMom, yes, my daughter didn’t get the “bicycle” either. Who cares? She reads. Incessantly. That’s all that matters.
June 7th, 2010 at 11:22 am
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HWB, I agree. That sentence about “feel free to dismiss my thoughts and observations” just creeps me out. And of course it’s a gender issue. Is there a man alive who would say such a thing?
Men who have no idea what they’re talking about present themselves with more confidence than women who have done all the research. Please, let’s not perpetuate this.
Apart from that, it’s a good post and I wish the writer all the best.
I have become very cynical about attempts to change the public schools through the usual channels. I’d like to see a strike. What if a big chunk of parents just refused to have their kids do reading logs, and other kinds of pointless homework?
June 7th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
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FedUp, thanks for the validation. That sentence completely creeped me out too. Don’t mean to come down hard on a parent who is trying and is putting her neck out there. As my follow up points out, the list is strong and potent. Excellent points.
But as you’ve said many times, FedUP, how much do we have to bow and scrape? I saw two women, sharp as a tack, reams of research, undermine their argument by being too conciliatory, too obsequious. Women, overtly or covertly, still have a very deep seeded need to be liked and have been conditioned to avoid confrontation. Start off by disparaging your entire premise, telling your audience they are free to dismiss you at any time.
And I further agree with you, FedUP. Enough with the nicey nice, let’s hold hands and sing Kumbaya around the campfire. It’s time for a strike. And a children’s union. Their health and well being are at stake. I’m tired of the “oh, what a wonderful place this is and thank you thank you thank you thank you.” Again, I’m not saying don’t be gracious. But when you smile hard, they smile hard back and that’s the most you get. A smile and a pat on the tuchus.
June 7th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
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Yeah, I felt squirmy when I read this lady started her speech like that. Way to make everyone stop listening.
No, as parents and women, we have to speak up for what we think is right and to do it in professional terms. We can be wrong but we should not be dismissed.
June 7th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
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Angie, we are sorry. But please mothers, listen to this. To a greater or lesser degree, I hear women undermine their arguments all the time. Two examples: a very bright friend of mine finally screwed up the courage to write a teacher a few years ago about a very tedious and time consuming 9th grade assignment. She sprinkled her entire email with smiley faces. I kid you not. My sense is she was trying to diffuse the tension, worried her daughter would no longer be liked, and either consciously or consciously, afraid of retaliation. As if that wasn’t enough, she ended with this zinger, I’m sure you know more than me, I’m just the mom. And in response, she got a nice pat on the tuchus. It was a “nice” response, sort of. No retaliation. She was told her daughter is a perfectionist if it’s taking this long and should see a counselor. She was reminded this is an honors course and rigorous. And it ended with, your daughter is a A student, you have nothing to worry about! Nice pat on the ass. That and fifty cents won’t even get you on the New York City subway.
A second example is a recent PTSA meeting. A mother brought up homework. I was thrilled. A few chimed in. Wow, great start, good going, FINALLY. But the second mom kept laughing. The principal is much younger than her but this older mom, smart, educated, kept giggling all through her statement. Again, to diffuse the tension, to be liked. All she did was lose respect.
June 7th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
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Correction: AN A student. Oy! Typo I didn’t catch.
June 7th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
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I hear lots of criticism of the way Angie approached her Board of Trustees, but having read comments on this blog for a long time, I can’t help but wonder how many of you have even spoken to your own boards of education? I mean actually stood up before the board in person and made this kind of in-depth, specific criticism of homework policies?
I say kudos to Angie for becoming active in her school, for investing her time and energy to stand up and actually do something concrete to make change happen, instead of sitting at the keyboard complaining.
June 7th, 2010 at 2:18 pm
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Anonymous, you have a point. Angie did do a beautiful job. Our point here is not to criticize her but to point out a fatal flaw and to demonstrate that women do this all the time, often unwittingly. If women want to be heard, they must be taken seriously. Don’t give them an out. It undermines the argument. Angie’s argument is so powerful. We are behind her. We don’t want her audience to dismiss her out of hand.
And yes, for the record, I have addressed the school board.
June 7th, 2010 at 2:24 pm
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HWB–What happened when you addressed the school board? Can you give details–when, what you said, what happened, did you go again, etc?
June 7th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
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Hello! Two main points here:
1.) My kids read more – on their own – since school is out and the reading logs are history. I’d be annoyed too if I had “read 15 minutes a day or else!” hanging over my head.
2.) Maybe Angie’s comment was self-deprecating, but I totally understand where she’s coming from. The schools have a great deal of power concerning our babies. It’s natural for a mom to want to appease the powers if it might ultimately bring about a better situation for her (and others’) kids. She went on to give a wonderfully articulate argument.
I really appreciate this blog and the ideas/debates that happen here. Thanks!
June 7th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
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Sara, the particular time I addressed the school board, it was not about homework per se, although I wove it in. I was invited by a parents’ organization to speak regarding later high school start times. I addressed homework overload and sleep deprivation in my speech. My daughter was asked to testify a year later and she also did, at age thirteen. She wrote a lovely speech.
June 7th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
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@HomeworkBlues said “Some moms here report that they cringe when their husbands, along for a meeting, are too blunt and direct. I’ve been there and cringed too, kicking DH under the table.”
I had to laugh at that…I’ve been the one being kicked by my wife and getting the angry lecture later on.
@Jennifer’s line really summed up the problem here: “The schools have a great deal of power concerning our babies.”
Folks, the schools have power because we give it to them. Stop acting meek and deferential. We are the parents and taxpayers (or tuition payers for private schools) and the school employees are supposed to be working on our behalf. You don’t have to be rude, but you have every right to tell them what your expectations are.
June 8th, 2010 at 6:16 am
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***
I shared two basic principles of psychology I’ve learned from the parenting program I teach (called Love and Logic)
***
Love and Logic is a highly controversial program. I personally would not want to be represented by someone who is involved with it. The author, Foster Cline, is mixed up with Attachment Therapy. You can read about the book here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1576839540/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1JZ1KDTBTYJH6VB18ZC2&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846
The “Love and Logic” approach to schooling is basically that the parents should stand back and let the school do what they do. Don’t remind your kid about homework; it’s their job to remember. If your kid gets punished at school for unfinished homework, let it happen.
There’s a curious irony here. The “Love and Logic” program would actually be opposed to parents attempting to change the school’s practice.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:13 am
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Mathew, I stretched my leg over to kick DH a kick and almost hit the teacher by mistake!
June 8th, 2010 at 8:15 am
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Mathew, perfectly well put. “Folks, the schools have power because we give it to them. Stop acting meek and deferential. We are the parents and taxpayers (or tuition payers for private schools) and the school employees are supposed to be working on our behalf. You don’t have to be rude, but you have every right to tell them what your expectations are.”
The schools have power because you have ceded yours. As Mathew says, you can go in there and be respectful, you don’t have to be rude, but you have every right to expect the schools to educate your child appropriately. It’s time to stop being meek and so obsequious.
And stop being so afraid. These problems would go away almost overnight if parents started striking and just refusing to do things to their children that are blatantly harmful. Talk first, negotiate. When that doesn’t work, stand up for your rights, your family and your children.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:19 am
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Fed Up Mom,
It sounds like you’ve looked into Love and Logic somewhat, though we understand the philosophy differently.
There are many effective approaches to parenting. Love and Logic is just one that can be a helpful guide for some parents who are struggling or who have not had good role models themselves. The philosophy believes in giving lots of choices to our children when they are young (not with dangerous things) and allowing them to live with the consequences so that they can learn when the life lessons are small and not high stakes.
For more info on their ideas on schooling refer to the CD “Hope for Underachieving Kids” which has a guaranteed technique for raising your child’s grades when applied over the course of a year. It is based on Attribution Theory. They also believe in giving our children active support in their education, modeling enthusiasm for learning, and focusing our efforts on their strengths, talents, and passions.
Jim Fay, one of the founders of Love and Logic (a former teacher and principal), actually sent out an e-mail last year stating that if he were king he would do away with all homework for elementary school kids citing Harris Cooper’s study (reviewed in The Homework Myth) of 700 students that found the more written work they had, the more negative their attitudes became toward school. He himself is trying to change the system through educating thousands of teachers every year.
Foster Cline’s ideas on attachment and bonding are not a part of the Love and Logic parenting program but are instead his own private work with children with attachment disorders who cannot bond to another human being (and have no ability for empathy) due to severe abuse and neglect in the first three years of life. This is not an area I am involved in.
As I am not an official representative of Love and Logic (I am an independent facilitator), I would refer anyone seeking more information to their website http://www.loveandlogic.com. If you click on Parents, you can select “Free Resources” from the drop down menu for hundreds of articles on various subjects. Then you can judge for yourself if their ideas make sense or not.
June 8th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
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For those who are interested–
My response to the objections raised to my opening statement is comment #14 in Part 2.
Thanks!
June 9th, 2010 at 9:54 am
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i feel like homework is just a waste of time because they think that if they give us homework we will learn but that doesnt work cause we break our backs bringing those books
December 1st, 2010 at 4:41 pm
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home
December 1st, 2010 at 4:41 pm
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imma a thirteen year old and i go home with back poblems day after day i love you guess for reading my post
December 1st, 2010 at 4:43 pm
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i feel like homework is just a waste of time because they think that if they give us homework we will learn but that doesnt work cause we break our backs bringing those books
June 13th, 2011 at 6:17 pm
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People wonder why children hate reading. It’s because it’s required. If we really want smart kids, we should let them read on their own and see reading as an enjoyable pastime.
October 9th, 2011 at 11:31 pm
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Reading logs are NOT to monitor parents!!! When children read, their reading fluency, comprehension, and vocabulary is improved!! Teachers want to make sure that students are reading. Why is there such a negative feeling towards reading logs? My Kindergartener has to do reading logs. Why would I have a problem promoting reading? I enjoy MAKING SURE my child has a book. I enjoy my child reading to me! I enjoy that she will learn new things from books! I enjoy her learning vocabulary from reading! And she is NOT FRUSTRATED by reading because of the reading log. As parents, we are able to help our children enjoy reading. A LOG IS NOT GOING TO MAKE THEM HATE READING. You, the parent that has a problem with it thinking schools just send them home to give you something to do, WILL!!!!!!
December 20th, 2011 at 12:36 pm
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“Why would I have a problem promoting reading?” Reading logs do NOT promote reading! That’s why we don’t like them. They often serve more as a deterrent than an encouragement. The voracious readers already love reading and a log is a risk. It very well could turn them off. Hardly worth it.
December 20th, 2011 at 11:37 pm
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“A LOG IS NOT GOING TO MAKE THEM HATE READING.” Really? Despite ample evidence to the contrary. Put another way, it certainly isn’t going to make them love reading.
I have a child who could read till the cows came home. You could sit her down at age four, stack a pile of books around her and she wouldn’t come up for air for hours.
Do you we instilled this love of reading through logs? Robert Frost said, “the only way out is through.” There are no shortcuts. Cultivating life long learners is a slow, calculated process, infused with love and passion and a real zest for books, words, creative expression, analytical thinking and learning. Asserting that reading logs do all that is laughable.
December 20th, 2011 at 11:42 pm
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Anonymous, many parents and teachers have reported that reading logs make kids hate reading. Take a look at my master list of blog posts on this topic:
Join the Chorus Against Reading Logs
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:54 pm
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